tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-58622950632531255332024-03-12T17:50:42.050-07:00REAL Good DadsThe Official Blog of GoodDads.comGoodDadshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08527992858917748115noreply@blogger.comBlogger224125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5862295063253125533.post-86504148251644297992019-09-16T10:56:00.001-07:002019-09-17T08:43:17.653-07:00The Power of Books<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">My name is Kyle, I’m a librarian, a dad, and soon to be Charlee’s
husband. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">My son (5) and her
two daughters (5 & 3) blend into our family of three kids and a rascally-rescued hound named Radar.<span style="color: black;"> Books have played a major
role in our family from the very beginning. Charlee and I met at the library.
We got to know each other by discussing books we’ve read, authors we both
liked, and suggesting future reads. So, it should be no surprise that we both
place a high value on reading to our kids.</span></span></i><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"> </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">I started reading to my son as soon as he was born. As an infant,
he was just a captive audience who couldn’t even hold up his own head, let alone
run away from me clumsily reading Maurice Sendak for the tenth time (<i>Where
the Wild Things Are</i> is still one of my favorite books). I read to him so
young because exposing kids to books, even as infants, familiarizes them with
voices and even begins to build the structures for syntax in their rapidly
developing brains. As he got older he loved being read to so much I became
captive to his insatiable hunger to read <i>Green Eggs and Ham</i> by Doctor
Seuss for the tenth straight night.</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaRs3umTMBjvFt5uzk8KfPkWulZM8X_U8XQBlxIrq7YXxH8HvtpRp-s_fO2fgU35YCrDrqoFSe9CFjzmQM2VmSH_y4lm78MdHOyk-zLDDl01wx3qr6i04clBDTv6rrE9X1ye6k-ez_VpA/s1600/adult-baby-book-626631+crop.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="770" data-original-width="1025" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaRs3umTMBjvFt5uzk8KfPkWulZM8X_U8XQBlxIrq7YXxH8HvtpRp-s_fO2fgU35YCrDrqoFSe9CFjzmQM2VmSH_y4lm78MdHOyk-zLDDl01wx3qr6i04clBDTv6rrE9X1ye6k-ez_VpA/s640/adult-baby-book-626631+crop.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Story time is among the most precious moments spent with my son.
It is bonding time. It is virtually the only time during the day he slows
down enough to tolerate being snuggled. Throughout all of the familial
transitions we faced, books and reading together at bedtime were a constant
source of reassurance and comfort for both of us. Every night we read together
was a lesson for both us that our relationship was stable and reliable, regardless of the changes in our family structure.</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLzaBFL99LjEshT4EoXcDzIyZ_ozwniUrVAfB14i3aNiWkmd6EjKS0UVD-EiUh_95W_FEPAglVZF-yOq6ez79QzdHLZJvGmV0ODhbPMTv_4JrzggT6HfQVlkjZKPL2_qGPTNvAKoM9X2E/s1600/unnamed.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLzaBFL99LjEshT4EoXcDzIyZ_ozwniUrVAfB14i3aNiWkmd6EjKS0UVD-EiUh_95W_FEPAglVZF-yOq6ez79QzdHLZJvGmV0ODhbPMTv_4JrzggT6HfQVlkjZKPL2_qGPTNvAKoM9X2E/s640/unnamed.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">While I was getting to know my new daughters, I thought it was
important to give them room and let them come to me. At first there was a lot
of the discerning glances and giggling games of peek-a-boo from their hiding
spot behind Charlee’s knees. Several stages followed including the
you-may-give-us-candy stage; the you-may-sit-next-to-us-with-food stage; and
the you-may-swing-us stage. All were positive steps, and I was delighted at each
step the girls’ took with me. However, it was a huge milestone for me when they
crawled into my lap clutching their favorite books and asked me to read to
them. I knew this indicated a new level of trust and acceptance.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Equally monumental was the first time that the five of us sat
crumpled in a pile on the floor as a family to read together before bed. Some
nights the sibling conflict is just too real. On those nights we read
separately, and that’s okay, but as often as possible we all get together and
read at night before bed. We do it because we want to feed their curiosity
about reading; we want to support their future success; and, most of all, we do
it because it is time devoted to bonding our new family together. The kids get
to know each other discussing each others’ favorite characters and theorizing
about what will happen next. They grow closer and more comfortable with each
other as they smush together and share our laps to see the illustrations.</span></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFaca5W04NSGGCioShXwSdAHSWlslT-5yRcRLkrA8KHKPv-WyR88v76uhl5u10gS8Oe1E3E3ganZhK6aUtOw4T9w_CCQPsuPtD2jQk66XFLh8ii7x52pOnQ-QIx97r1cqE-IYgu-J4k4g/s1600/39DDE191-1F08-4424-BE33-740EF660E5C7.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="478" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFaca5W04NSGGCioShXwSdAHSWlslT-5yRcRLkrA8KHKPv-WyR88v76uhl5u10gS8Oe1E3E3ganZhK6aUtOw4T9w_CCQPsuPtD2jQk66XFLh8ii7x52pOnQ-QIx97r1cqE-IYgu-J4k4g/s640/39DDE191-1F08-4424-BE33-740EF660E5C7.jpeg" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"> </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">We have also learned that books can unlock our kids from their
anxieties. Our son did not adapt well to day care, so before he started
kindergarten summer school we checked out <i>The Pigeon has to Go to
School!</i> by Mo Willems from the library. Every night for three weeks it was
his favorite book at our house and summer school became less of an anxiety
trigger for him. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">After a particularly grueling weekend of sibling bickering,
tattling, and tears, Charlee brought home <i>Even Superheroes have Bad Days</i>
by Shelly Becker. The kids enjoy playing superheroes</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"> together, and the book illustrates superheroes have bad days
too and how they process different emotions. Obviously, it wasn’t an
instant panacea, but it gave us a framework in which to talk to the kids at their
level about emotions like anger and sadness.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Books are a skeleton key that unlock doors and empower children to
be more successful. Reading to children and having age-appropriate books in the
house are the most important factors in assuring healthy language development
and determining future academic success. Regularly reading to your children is
also time spent nurturing and showing them affection. There is literally no
downside to the time you spend with your children and books. If you don’t believe
me, check out “</span><a href="https://nam05.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fferstreaders.org%2Fresources%2Ffifty-top-literacy-statistics&data=02%7C01%7Cstephanie%40gooddads.com%7Cdfd916dc6dcf47bfc85308d737be27a8%7Cf643528126f244108d81dcddf3b9d6c8%7C0%7C0%7C637039162228212974&sdata=4CDnU9LHfX1VvYzSCdNKltp0GXz2Vq%2BOFEDRdhl3YRg%3D&reserved=0" style="text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">FiftyTop Literacy Statistics</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">” at <i><a href="https://nam05.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fferstreaders.org&data=02%7C01%7Cstephanie%40gooddads.com%7Cdfd916dc6dcf47bfc85308d737be27a8%7Cf643528126f244108d81dcddf3b9d6c8%7C0%7C0%7C637039162228222973&sdata=c6gOPzthdjL3tBwGel5TW13uKBeGm2QJl5rhCferrvI%3D&reserved=0" target="_blank">ferstreaders.org</a></i>.
They’ve dug through all of the child literacy studies for you and compiled a
truly eye-opening list of reasons to read to your children.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Kyle Evans is dad to three and reference associate for the <a href="https://thelibrary.org/" target="_blank">Springfield-Greene County Library District</a>. </i> </span></span></div>
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GoodDadshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08527992858917748115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5862295063253125533.post-48139196660769869922019-09-09T13:38:00.001-07:002019-09-09T13:38:45.403-07:00"Read Me a Story. Read Me a Story, Daddy!"<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">From the time they are very young, children often love
nothing better than to have a parent read to them. It doesn’t matter how many
times they’ve heard the same story, if they’re younger than three or four, they
want to hear the same tale again, and again, and again. Some parents will tell
you they’ve read the same book so many times, they could recite it by memory.
Try skipping a page in an effort to hurry up bedtime and parents will tell you their child has the story memorized as well. “You skipped a part,” they’ll
protest. “Don’t miss those pages.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Perhaps it’s sitting shoulder-to-shoulder, or on daddy’s
lap, that endears young children to the miracle of reading. Maybe it’s the
magic of imagination as parent and child explore new worlds and funny people
together. When parents use different voices and pause for dramatic effect, the
mystery and enchantment is not lost on their offspring. Who doesn’t like the anxious
anticipation of a scary story while cuddled up with someone bigger and stronger
who will protect them and help them be brave?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Reading with young children on a regular occasion has great
benefits when it becomes part of a family’s routine. Parents and children
benefit from a time of calm and closeness. Memories are made and traditions are
born. But other important things are also occurring when parents make the time
to read with their offspring.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Reading is a foundational skill to your child’s success.
With the exception of active play, nearly every other activity depends on a
child’s ability to decode letters and make meaning of words and sentences.
Science, history and any kind of language arts depend on it. Even math requires
a child be able to read and make sense of written instructions and word problems.
Simply put, children who learn to enjoy reading and do it well, usually do
better in school.</span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">W</span></b><span style="font-size: large; font-weight: bold;">hat Can a Good Dad Do?<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">There are
many things a father can do to encourage good reading habits in his child.
These include the following:</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Model
reading for your child,</b> i.e., let him see you reading. It doesn’t matter what—a
magazine, manual or book—even something on your notebook. The important thing
is they observe their dad reading.</span> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Take your
child to a library or bookstores.</b>
Introduce your child to the world of books. Allow her to lead you to what she finds
interesting.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Read to your
child. </b>Establish a routine that includes regular reading to or with your child.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Make reading
fun.</b> When you read to your child, use funny voices and dramatic pauses. Help them
see what an enjoyable activity reading can be.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">What about Dads-at-a-Distance?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Some dads
travel for work and are gone from home many evenings of the week. Others are
deployed. Some drive an over-the-road truck. Dads like this have an additional
challenge when it comes to encouraging their child’s reading success, but today
more than ever before it’s easier for them to establish helpful reading habits
with their child. Consider the following:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Modeling:</b> It may be more difficult for
your child to see you read, but you can certainly talk about what you’re
reading. Find out what books are being assigned at school—particularly when
your child starts with chapter books in second or third grade and follow along
with them. This will help them see you’re interested in what they’re learning
and help you ask better questions about their homework.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">In Person:</b> When you are at home, make
time to visit a library or bookstore, in addition to reading with them
yourself. When dad uses his precious time at home to include 20-30 minutes of a
reading-related activity, he speaks volumes to his child about its importance.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Use Social Media:</b> Thanks to the
internet, you and your child can both hear and see each other even when
separated by hundreds of miles. There’s no reason a dad cannot read a book to
his child via FaceTime every night, or listen to a budding reader practice his
new skill while listening from afar. Consider buying two of the same book or
borrowing one copy from the library. In this way, a child can follow along,
while dad reads even if the internet connection doesn’t allow visual contact.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Reading is
important to a child’s academic success, but it can also be the basis for many
happy and positive memories between parent and child. Why not choose one new
reading-related activity to create new memories for you and your child, while
also strengthening the likelihood of his success at school?</span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<br />GoodDadshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08527992858917748115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5862295063253125533.post-83256372956373034782019-09-09T11:13:00.003-07:002019-09-09T11:14:35.004-07:00"Thank you for giving us our dad back."<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
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Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Mention"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Smart Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hashtag"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Unresolved Mention"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Smart Link"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Smart Link Error"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin-top:0in;
mso-para-margin-right:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:8.0pt;
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“If you had told me a year ago that I would have what I do
today, I wouldn’t have believed it.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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This is the way James Mincks talks about the remarkable
changes in his life allowing him to be the kind of man and father he wants to
be to his sons today. </div>
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James’ story is not an easy one. It contains many setbacks,
including his dropping out of high school, becoming addicted to meth and
serving a period of incarceration. Although he spent some time caring for his
sons when they were very young and their mother was working, he admits he “was
just there” and not really engaged with his children. His addiction and a
number of poor choices led to his conviction as a felon and time spent in the
Department of Corrections. In July 2018, he “home planned” to <a href="https://www.victorymission.com/" target="_blank">Victory Mission</a> in Springfield,
Missouri, where his life began to change.</div>
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At Victory Mission, James committed himself to completing
the “Restoration Program.” Part of the program includes participation in <a href="https://www.gooddads.com/new-pathways" target="_blank">New Pathways for Good Dads</a> for
all men who are fathers. It also involves an opportunity to be part of <a href="https://www.jobsforlife.org/" target="_blank">Jobs for Life</a>. Though it wasn’t always
easy to work through issues from his past, James was determined to make
something different of his life. When he applied for a position at <a href="http://www.smcpackaging.com/" target="_blank">SMC Packaging</a> in Springfield, he was
one of three out of 17 applicants to be hired for the open positions. Today he
speaks proudly of the promotions he has earned at SMC Packaging and the way it
has changed his life. “I have vacation days, benefits and things people told me
I would never have,” he says.</div>
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James also noted how his attitude changed with regard to
supporting his children. “I used to resent having to pay,” he said, “because
the boys’ mother made more money than me. Today I’m happy to do my part because
they are my children.”</div>
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What difference does a supportive environment, a job and new
confidence make for someone like James? You could ask his sons, ages 7 and 10.
They would tell you that their dad planned a first ever birthday party last
December, took them shoe shopping for new shoes at the beginning of summer, and
financed their back-to-school shopping this fall. Following that, he arranged
for family photos. One proudly features James with his boys with a sign
proclaiming, “Thank you for giving us our dad back.” </div>
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<i>Hear more of James' story in <a href="http://traffic.libsyn.com/gooddads/JamesMincks.mp3" target="_blank">this Good Dads podcast</a>. </i><br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2QIWOtvglaFoU3-RQF9glzvT9kYZuXyaHrm3vQixbP1_Y-ORwPZWzSgbl8p4W74bQGE3lMBtWBSj9RzSiIxWcUuDwqLwjrTNh3f3YL9XGo-EEfQQfTcryuC2BuWDuzZOey26k32Go7R8/s1600/James+Mincks+Thanks+for+giving+us+our+dad+back.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1177" data-original-width="1600" height="470" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2QIWOtvglaFoU3-RQF9glzvT9kYZuXyaHrm3vQixbP1_Y-ORwPZWzSgbl8p4W74bQGE3lMBtWBSj9RzSiIxWcUuDwqLwjrTNh3f3YL9XGo-EEfQQfTcryuC2BuWDuzZOey26k32Go7R8/s640/James+Mincks+Thanks+for+giving+us+our+dad+back.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<i><a href="https://www.gooddads.com/new-pathways" target="_blank">New Pathways for Good Dads</a> is a <a href="https://www.gooddads.com/" target="_blank">Good Dads</a> program made possible by a Healthy Marriage and Responsible Fatherhood contract through the <a href="https://mydss.mo.gov/services" target="_blank">State of Missouri's Department of Social Services, Family Support Division</a>. </i></div>
GoodDadshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08527992858917748115noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5862295063253125533.post-49773505291266293392019-09-03T10:22:00.000-07:002019-09-03T15:08:26.002-07:005 Things I Learned Coaching Children's Soccer<div dir="auto">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Let me explain. I was a network
administrator. Sounds much more glamorous than it was. I basically
worked for 10 hours straight through the night printing reports, changing
out tapes and monitoring multiple screens to make sure nothing
went down.</span></div>
<div dir="auto">
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.1px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Never quite feeling completely awake and
rarely being fully asleep, led to a zombie like state that could make
fathering difficult. It also gave me three days a week off and I could
do stuff with my kids during the day.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">After a long night of work I was reminded
that my 8-year-old daughter, Abigail, was signed up for soccer at the
local YMCA. Taking her to her first soccer practice sounded like
something I could do even with most of my brain already
at rest.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I’m not sure how it happened, but an easy
trip where I got to watch my kid be coached turned into me coaching… the
entire team… for the whole season.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.1px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">What I learned during that one season of
non-competitive, community children's soccer, with teams coached by any
warm body, rivaled what years of high school sports had taught me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTRQ4Ww1-9azQ7TMnpe1DeIr6v5z1VdOzf_T4B9OLPW8yfq7pnz0igfRDQCWRr7PoJeRurXsuGDJily65uKsIGfFJQNvHzfTuz4hGRHWsDQ8lRMhui88xiE8U8Duia8jeEKio95o_pctA/s1600/action-activity-balls-296302.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1060" data-original-width="1600" height="422" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTRQ4Ww1-9azQ7TMnpe1DeIr6v5z1VdOzf_T4B9OLPW8yfq7pnz0igfRDQCWRr7PoJeRurXsuGDJily65uKsIGfFJQNvHzfTuz4hGRHWsDQ8lRMhui88xiE8U8Duia8jeEKio95o_pctA/s640/action-activity-balls-296302.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">In high school I suffered from a common
ailment known as insecurity. Anxiety joined me on the field. As a
starting defender on a large undefeated lacrosse team, I can now look
back and say that I was good at it. At the time, I mostly
felt like I should do better and wasn't quite sure I was ever good
enough.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.1px;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">
<b><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">1. Your child's value is never in question regardless of the number of trophies they have.</span></b></div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.1px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Coaching kids in soccer taught me they had value before the game ever started. Their value didn't
decrease or increase based on performance. Stress, anxiety, performance
pressure, and ability comparison is not even a
requirement to be excellent at sports. Hinting they will somehow be
less of a person in my eyes if they don't out perform others creates “better” results . . . for a time. Like kids who are forced to
practice piano, they often do get “better” momentarily. However, when coercive measures are not present, many never touch the instrument again wanting to avoid the
unpleasantness associated with it.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.1px;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">
<b><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">2. Find a reason to celebrate your child regularly. (Actually celebrate THEM, not just their performance on the field.)</span></b></div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.1px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Modeling joy and celebrating participation
naturally leads to great performance without manipulation or
condescension. As a young man I unfortunately learned to withhold
celebrating myself and others. In fact, I developed a fear
of celebrating today's accomplishments. I became dependent on
negative motivators that told me that being content or happy with myself
and others would take away the passion needed to win. Don't believe
this lie. Celebrate often. Celebrate them. Let
them celebrate you. Let the simple joy of sports be the awesome
motivator it is.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">
<b><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">3. Model celebrating and learning from others, even if they are on the other team.</span></b></div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.1px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Let them be good at enjoying playing the
sport. There are around 8 billion people in the world. If you require
your child to be the “best” at anything they only have a 0.00…1% chance
of living up to your expectations. (No, I didn't
really do the math.) It wasn't until I was well into my adult life that I
could actually appreciate the abilities of others. When I was younger I
resented anyone with talent because I was supposed to be the “best.”
Give your child permission to not be the “best.”
You could even give them permission to celebrate others, even those on
the other team. Believe it or not, this will not only make them a better
person, but will help them learn new skills in their chosen sport. It
helps to make them teachable.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEKaOOi2kks-rwg7AblvrNXg6XoLV6EOsyrUI6xFMV73GyZmQCbdlQQxeLJg7nX5QReSjFCUrAyryLehoJhi7UOYHtHEbEkjevj6T6ZjhiwlWRF_pDlJCzppZY3LB7H1bceadwIyiY5Fo/s1600/action-active-activity-264384.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1067" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEKaOOi2kks-rwg7AblvrNXg6XoLV6EOsyrUI6xFMV73GyZmQCbdlQQxeLJg7nX5QReSjFCUrAyryLehoJhi7UOYHtHEbEkjevj6T6ZjhiwlWRF_pDlJCzppZY3LB7H1bceadwIyiY5Fo/s640/action-active-activity-264384.jpg" width="426" /></span></a></div>
</div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<b><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">4. Help your child discover and pursue
THEIR passions. (When they want to play a position or sport different
than what you want for them, build their confidence by letting them be
right about their choice.)</span></b></div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.1px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The team I coached was a children's
community league where everyone got to try every position. I once had a
parent explain to me that his daughter was more of a forward than a
defender and that I should put her in the game more
often. He was basically telling me how much better she was than the
other kids. This is a common assumption of insecure parents. I gently
went to his daughter, knelt down and asked her if she would like to
play. As I had suspected, she didn't even want to
play. As fathers we can often be so overly concerned with our child
outperforming the other kids that we lose sight of their heart, their
desire. Give them permission to have passions different than yours. Let
them explore sports and team positions you
wouldn't have chosen for them. </span></div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.1px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>5. Your child’s safety and the safety of others is always the greatest win. (This includes not just physically safety, but also emotional, mental and social well being.)</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The young YMCA youth soccer gentleman that
recruited volunteers such as myself, also oversaw multiple Saturday
morning games. When we ended up with too few kids for our game he
decided that both teams of kids would be combined and
play against the adults. For safety reasons both goalies were played by
adults. We gently passed the ball to each other and cheered the kids on.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.1px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Then it happened. That young man almost
lost his life! I’m 6’4” and came very close to showing him my full
contact skills. He thought all the kids were out of the way and decided
to treat this as a professional game. Kicking the
ball as hard as he could toward the adult goalie he nailed my daughter, Abigail, knocking her to the ground and completely knocking the wind out
of her. She lay on the grass in pain and panicking to breath. I
made a split second decision between introducing
my recruiter to a combat sport and holding my girl.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.1px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Safety first. Be more concerned about your
child's safety than their performance. Not just physically, but
emotionally and socially as well. You could even demonstrate being
concerned with the welfare of others over “winning.”
It may seem simple to you, but for me on that field that day it was a
huge “win” to keep my cool and accept that young man’s heart felt
apology. He truly didn't see my daughter. He really did feel bad about
hurting her. His safety was important too. Verbal
and/or physical violence would have done no good. As their coach it
would have only modeled really bad behavior.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.1px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Sports are a wonderful way for fathers to
celebrate who their children are regardless of their skill level. It is a
great environment for fathers to give their children permission to
communicate THEIR heart and pursue THEIR passions.
Sports are the ideal place for fathers to demonstrate that their child's
safety and the safety of others is always a “win.”</span></div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.1px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And lastly, it is within the context of
sports that fathers have one of the best opportunities to demonstrate
the power of being kind. As a friend recently told me, “it is nice to be
important, but it is even more important to
be nice.”</span><br />
<div style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 11px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 11px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: "helvetica neue";">
<i>(Raymond) Dirk Rowe is an Outreach Chaplain at Victory Mission & Ministry in Springfield, Missouri. He had the honor of
hosting the first Good Dads class at Victory Mission and has greatly enjoyed seeing this
amazing opportunity grow into multiple classes around Springfield.</i></div>
</div>
</div>
GoodDadshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08527992858917748115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5862295063253125533.post-46042672396440794102019-08-26T10:09:00.001-07:002019-08-27T05:06:49.316-07:00Teaching Kids The Value of Work<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Getting kids to learn the value of work is no easy task.
When you throw in a couple of parents who most likely were raised with varying
views of chores, allowances, and the appropriate age to start working at an outside
job finding level ground about teaching children about work and why it is
important can be especially challenging. Instructing and modeling in this
area of parenting–-though it will require some “work” from the grownups--pays off
for our children, not just for the future of their respective finances, but
also for the future of their respective character. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkHKMeJ9hYY3vJyom9SopxU67eXH8cJOfbMU-JBBqGcYtUQI9wGn66ZBgeskR3HtTK9gmi7OnqSWN2cbQfv3hlmBt0b8HPlR-4uR5PLYBWTZm43xrGVtDX5ATSqvs5yaC8MXVszL7d_Bk/s1600/thumbnail_image002.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="806" data-original-width="1280" height="402" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkHKMeJ9hYY3vJyom9SopxU67eXH8cJOfbMU-JBBqGcYtUQI9wGn66ZBgeskR3HtTK9gmi7OnqSWN2cbQfv3hlmBt0b8HPlR-4uR5PLYBWTZm43xrGVtDX5ATSqvs5yaC8MXVszL7d_Bk/s640/thumbnail_image002.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Though I was the oldest and my wife was the baby, we both
were raised by hard-working parents. We grew up watching our moms and dads work
faithfully and fervently at everything they did. However, when it came to what
was required of us as children, that’s when things took a turn. As the oldest,
my dad pushed me to work on my grandparents' dairy farm years before my teens.
In addition, I had chores in and outside of our house, plus I was expected to
earn money from outside employment as soon as I was of age. My teen years
were spent doing all of the typical things from playing sports to making sure
grades were up to parental standards, plus holding down various jobs. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">My wife,
while raised with high standards of manners and overall behaviors, was a
surprise child and the only girl, arriving years after three brothers. Her parents
would not tolerate poor attitude, disrespect, unkindness, or ungratefulness,
but they felt that outside of an occasional babysitting job her primary “work” was related to school. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">When our boys came along, three in rapid succession,
we quickly found ourselves not at odds, but struggling to find our own rhythm
in teaching our boys to be workers. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLDHgrajw4tsi9Jmezllfij-z0HsCrR5Gg8fOFScx4bcpOHqo35mCANKtYuhClGUC4O3ZmEHEIvnzD4DEtliKTAc9HvmWd5Dc4BVij3Vqobz60yUThctxIbfQG6XZXSdXDVGxWtmDPe_w/s1600/thumbnail_image003.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1188" data-original-width="1280" height="370" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLDHgrajw4tsi9Jmezllfij-z0HsCrR5Gg8fOFScx4bcpOHqo35mCANKtYuhClGUC4O3ZmEHEIvnzD4DEtliKTAc9HvmWd5Dc4BVij3Vqobz60yUThctxIbfQG6XZXSdXDVGxWtmDPe_w/s400/thumbnail_image003.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The first discussion we had regarding our own children and
work, or “chores,” came when they were only two, four, and six. One night, my
wife dumped a load of clean towels on the couch to fold. As I
grabbed one, I said, “Hey, why aren’t the boys helping us fold these?” </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">She replied, "You want our gooey-fingered, booger-picking, Tasmanian Devil of a
two-year-old folding your bath towel?”</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I grimaced a bit and answered, “Well,
maybe after we wash his hands.” </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So, that night she called them in and gave the
oldest the bath towels, the middle the hand towels, and the baby the wash
cloths. It wasn’t long before the elder brother folded towels like the head
housekeeper at the Ritz. The hand towels were so-so, but the wash cloths looked
like an elephant had stomped on them . . . after someone had already used them. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">At
first, my wife refolded them, but finally came to the conclusion that
if the boys always saw her redoing their work–-especially work they were proud
of--it would defeat the purpose. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">One time, when my in-laws were visiting, they watched my wife put away some not-so-perfectly-folded towels. My
father-in-law asked my mother-in-law if she could have tolerated putting such
poorly folded linens in the cabinet. When my mother-in-law answered, “No. I
don’t think you or I could have,” my father-in-law responded, “Well, we should
have.” </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwvlvywT4Hd4XMudsZpG_VaNpabtlEsj7wXBoW2l5TIjzr1oTjO8TBD7Mtz2RfKBydW64EJpAVrZw9q5uF9xiLDkYl9RMNHgAuTz2Ld3U_R8KLAxxRNZBcsUGi3Rv6y0HsSPPm92oDyrI/s1600/jon-tyson-Ow_GfqblrG8-unsplash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="928" data-original-width="1600" height="370" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwvlvywT4Hd4XMudsZpG_VaNpabtlEsj7wXBoW2l5TIjzr1oTjO8TBD7Mtz2RfKBydW64EJpAVrZw9q5uF9xiLDkYl9RMNHgAuTz2Ld3U_R8KLAxxRNZBcsUGi3Rv6y0HsSPPm92oDyrI/s640/jon-tyson-Ow_GfqblrG8-unsplash.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<span id="goog_312316940"></span><span id="goog_312316941"></span><br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I realize towel folding is not a huge life skill that
will bring in large amounts of money in our children’s futures, but it is a
start. As the boys grow, both mentally and physically, they were able to take on more
responsibility in and around our home. These tasks not only helped our family,
but also gave them a necessary life skills and a sense of
accomplishment.</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">They weeded flower beds,
hauled gravel, mowed lawns, cleaned baseboards (those young knees could take it
far better than mine or my wife’s), split firewood, and eventually helped our
neighbors and many others--all for free.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjabZH-EfpIFgjaRLPtqlXKSeYYBnY0M_2HCECOrGYZEyEpEuXsSTyy93VqiLo1pUKtRARC9ovMsqEz1igasfRupwCgrKtJqQGiI7kAJ6P88g4eZXZx6sCFBs9fQngX8lyoBymBWFhE2tk/s1600/thumbnail_image004.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="560" data-original-width="794" height="281" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjabZH-EfpIFgjaRLPtqlXKSeYYBnY0M_2HCECOrGYZEyEpEuXsSTyy93VqiLo1pUKtRARC9ovMsqEz1igasfRupwCgrKtJqQGiI7kAJ6P88g4eZXZx6sCFBs9fQngX8lyoBymBWFhE2tk/s400/thumbnail_image004.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Though as adults we absolutely equate work with
money, how we attain and do those “big people” jobs is greatly affected by our skill and attitude toward the “w” word itself. Skill
and attitude are often acquired by learning how to willingly put all of our effort
into doing something as small as folding a washcloth. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: small; line-height: 17.12px;"><span style="color: #212121; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-style: italic;">Kevin
Weaver, CEO of Network211 and father of three sons, lives with his wife
KyAnne in Springfield, MO. He enjoys spending time with family, hunting
and watching University of Kansas basketball with his boys! He can be
reached at </span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small; font-style: italic;">kweaver@network211.com</span><br />
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GoodDadshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08527992858917748115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5862295063253125533.post-33338489303114628192019-08-19T08:17:00.003-07:002019-08-19T08:17:44.831-07:0010 Tips for New Dads<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of authorities"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="macro"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="toa heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
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<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.6pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444;"><b><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Becoming a new father is one of the
most wonderful life events a man can experience. But it can also feel
overwhelming.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Take heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By gaining some practical knowledge, setting
realistic expectations and creating healthy habits, you can be a great
dad!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444;"><b><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></b></span><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.6pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<b><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Here are 10 tips to help get new dads
started down the right path:</span></b></div>
</div>
<br /><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.6pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirFdSOoxGbNJ-AoRFwYEUzEveKwPJrlBAm0SYiO7RTOgk_OqBNHobRgXhk2kHbQZaQszypqs9CmqPKaO9vLeaUHTjLnQOiagUu0Jzr8UG4H9iCugS0RnOLquq8o6pkJ0eJvSYjEUagwZM/s1600/adorable-baby-born-2133.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirFdSOoxGbNJ-AoRFwYEUzEveKwPJrlBAm0SYiO7RTOgk_OqBNHobRgXhk2kHbQZaQszypqs9CmqPKaO9vLeaUHTjLnQOiagUu0Jzr8UG4H9iCugS0RnOLquq8o6pkJ0eJvSYjEUagwZM/s640/adorable-baby-born-2133.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<h3 style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.6pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 28.6pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo1; tab-stops: list 1.0in; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: middle;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b><i><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Understand
that <u>you</u> matter.</span></i></b><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-weight: normal;">Study after study has shown that when
children have involved, loving fathers, they learn more, perform better in
school and exhibit healthier behavior.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Even when fathers do not share a home with their children, their active
involvement can have a lasting and positive impact.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 28.6pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-weight: normal;">
</span><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 28.6pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;">It's easy for dads to feel like they
aren't needed when their children are newborns, but the opposite is true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whether you are in a committed relationship
with the baby's mother or will just be co-parenting, the relationship you start
building with your baby in his or her first few months can positively impact
your child's future for years to come.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 28.6pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 28.6pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo2; tab-stops: list 1.0in; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: middle;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b><i><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Get to
know your child as an individual.</span></i></b><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-weight: normal;">Just as every adult is a unique individual
with our own temperament, personality, interests and habits, your baby is
unique too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 28.6pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 28.6pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;">Nurturing your child in a way that
supports her individual tendencies helps her feel loved and secure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For example, some children are naturally
outgoing and self-motivated, while others are shy and may need more
encouragement to try new things. Also, understanding why your child behaves the
way he does will also help ease your frustration when faced with challenging
parenting situations.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 28.6pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 28.6pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo3; tab-stops: list 1.0in; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: middle;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b><i><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Remember
that all babies cry.</span></i></b><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-weight: normal;">Crying is natural and is a baby's first
method of communication.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact,
infants will continue to cry to let you know about their unmet needs until they
learn to talk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He may be hungry, wet or
tired.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 28.6pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 28.6pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;">Instead of letting frustration and
anxiety build when your child cries, try to reframe the experience as, "My
baby is trying to tell me what she needs."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It will likely take time for you to learn what your baby's different
cries mean.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So be patient with yourself
too, and remind yourself that each time you try to meet your baby's needs in
response to her cries for help, you are building trust and teaching her that
the world is a safe place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 28.6pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 28.6pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo4; tab-stops: list 1.0in; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: middle;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b><i><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Be the
best version of yourself instead of trying to imitate another dad.</span></i></b><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-weight: normal;">Babies
don't care about your education level or career.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The great news is they don't have the
capacity to compare you to other dads, and they will love you for who you are
if you are attentive and kind to them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 28.6pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 28.6pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;">Just be present with your child and
include him at age-appropriate stages in your hobbies and interests.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you like to spend time in nature, invest
in an infant carrier or jogger stroller and take her with you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you like music, play for him. If you like
sports, take her to a game to take in the action.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are countless ways to include your
child in your everyday life, and he will cherish the time with you no matter
how you spend it.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 28.6pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 28.6pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo5; tab-stops: list 1.0in; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: middle;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b><i><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Accept
that caring for a baby is a full-time responsibility.</span></i></b><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-weight: normal;">Shortly
after the birth of your child, you will likely realize that this is a 24/7 kind
of commitment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s when the overwhelm
can start to set in, and it's helpful to remember that parenting is done just
like every other aspect of life - one day at a time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 28.6pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 28.6pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;">Creating routines around eating and
sleeping, while it can be hit or miss during the newborn stage, is helpful for
making the days and nights go more smoothly. Safety proofing your home is
another important part of helping to ensure your child is protected as she moves
into the crawler and toddler stages.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 28.6pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 28.6pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo6; tab-stops: list 1.0in; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: middle;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b><i><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Familiarize
yourself with basic infant development.</span></i></b><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-weight: normal;">While it's true that babies differ in when
they achieve certain developmental milestones, such as sitting up or saying a
first word, it's also true that babies tend to develop in important areas along
a fairly specific timeline.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 28.6pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-weight: normal;">
</span><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 28.6pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;">Knowing how your baby might develop in
four key areas - physically, mentally, emotionally and socially - can help you
set realistic expectations and gain more confidence as a new dad. For example,
if you know that most babies start sitting up on their own at about six months,
you don't need to be concerned if your baby is still wobbly at four
months.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A class for expectant and new
dads, like PCC and Good Dads offers, will provide this information and give you ideas for
encouraging your baby's development.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In
a pinch, a Google search will help you with the basics too.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 28.6pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 28.6pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo7; tab-stops: list 1.0in; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: middle;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">7.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b><i><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Take
care of yourself too.</span></i></b><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-weight: normal;">Moms are constantly told to take good care of
themselves, especially during pregnancy and in the baby's first few
months.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But what about dads?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's just as critical that your physical and
emotional needs be met during this transition time too.</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 28.6pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 28.6pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">If paternity time is available to you
through your employer, take advantage of it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But even if you can't take much time off, implementing some simple
strategies can help a lot:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sleep when
the baby sleeps.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Keep meals simple to
avoid extra time shopping, cooking and cleaning up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you have help available, carve out some
couple time to do something enjoyable together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Parenthood can feel all-consuming, so even a few minutes of time spent
in a refreshing activity can rejuvenate your body and mind. </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 28.6pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 28.6pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo8; tab-stops: list 1.0in; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: middle;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">8.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b><i><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Don't
equate a paycheck with love.</span></i></b><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-weight: normal;">While it's important to financially provide
for your family, earning a paycheck will not translate directly as love to your
child.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's been said that love is
spelled T-I-M-E.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Spending quality time
with your child is an invaluable investment that buying more stuff can never
compete with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Babies' needs are basic,
and they are usually content with just a few developmentally-appropriate toys
(or a drawer full of plastic containers!).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So focus on giving your child the things money can't buy, and you will
both be happier for it.</span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 28.6pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo9; tab-stops: list 1.0in; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: middle;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">9.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b><i><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Recognize
that all parents feel frustrated sometimes.</span></i></b><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-weight: normal;">Having a
new baby means lots of changes to routine and can impact many areas of life -
physical, relational, emotional, social and financial to name a few.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those changes, coupled with lack of sleep,
can lead to feelings of frustration. This is completely normal and taking small
steps in managing that frustration can keep it from escalating into full-blown
anger.</span></span></div>
</h3>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Try to remember that your baby's
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</h3>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;"> </span><br />
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<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">10.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b><i><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Ask for
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and function.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Lisa McIntire is passionate about helping families in our
community and serves as the Executive Director of Springfield’s Pregnancy Care Center
(PCC) and is a member of the New Pathways for Good Dads Council. The Pregnancy
Care Center is a New Pathways for Good Dads Partner and a great community
resource offering a fatherhood program for expectant and new fathers, which
includes fatherhood-specific classes and one-on-one coaching with male mentors.
</i></span></span></div>
</h3>
<br />GoodDadshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08527992858917748115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5862295063253125533.post-87712196845286465502019-08-08T15:08:00.000-07:002019-08-12T06:28:59.088-07:00Back-to-School: One Dad Shares on Costs, Bedtime, Grades and More<!--[if !mso]>
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<br />
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">August is here, and unlike some, I’m actually sad
that my kiddos will head back to school on the 13th. As a stay-at-home Dad,
I’ve been able to stay up late, watching movies and series on Netflix with
them. We have had some late night pool parties and junk food runs. Sure the
downside, is they tell me they are bored constantly, and are always looking for
stuff to do. However, I’ve always got household chores and yard work ready for
them when this happens. </span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s1">I used to think buying school supplies was a fair trade off for having
someone else teach and entertain my children, while also feeding them lunch for
me. Now, with two teenagers and an 8 year old, the start of school means
constant practices and additional fees beyond the cost of paper and pencils. </span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s1"> </span></span> <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHTOe33inUp6nq-uPZuQS50Gl92Lp9PGHFOpVJj6n82kjGSI30BD_MQB1l3mvWnnXbq-zLfpItBZC4dSRXWE51sQTPEjGSaktWjMIRoJXkwOhfTc1SqGQ9Uwq5O7Y3LuZHKlxVXNklFX4/s1600/1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="481" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHTOe33inUp6nq-uPZuQS50Gl92Lp9PGHFOpVJj6n82kjGSI30BD_MQB1l3mvWnnXbq-zLfpItBZC4dSRXWE51sQTPEjGSaktWjMIRoJXkwOhfTc1SqGQ9Uwq5O7Y3LuZHKlxVXNklFX4/s400/1.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
<div class="p2">
<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s1">My youngest, who will be in 3rd grade, has a $98 school supply list
when you factor in back pack, ear buds etc. My High School kids won’t get their
supply list until later, though I can expect to spend and additional $50-$60 on
them.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s1">My other son, will be a Freshman and in band. I had no idea, until now,
that they practice so much. There will be morning practices before school,
evening practices after school, plus I get to cough up about $300 for him to
participate. He will run track in the spring, so I’ve gotta fork out an
additional athletic activity fee of $45. </span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjk6VMEUY-qNPyHFS55i2cm_WgWAw55DAAOA17Et41b-b7gBWWWxge3fEX0SJ9fSWmVFUhYwseWJnVjoQDgsMY5Jx3aA4lggE6A9mnHpESd_pnOnxvejyZPgFeX8_zmGbEhPO_TsPezMM/s1600/2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjk6VMEUY-qNPyHFS55i2cm_WgWAw55DAAOA17Et41b-b7gBWWWxge3fEX0SJ9fSWmVFUhYwseWJnVjoQDgsMY5Jx3aA4lggE6A9mnHpESd_pnOnxvejyZPgFeX8_zmGbEhPO_TsPezMM/s400/2.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
<div class="p2">
<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s1">My daughter will be a sophomore this year, and is involved with
softball, bowling, choir and track. I feel like I hardly ever see her once she
starts school, and this year it may be less, now that she has a car. There are
always a ton of expenses and fees that add up with her as well. </span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s1">Over the next week, we will try to get the kids back on that school
sleep schedule. Right now my daughter is up past midnight watching Netflix
& listening to music while on FaceTime with her best friend. My oldest son
is on Xbox playing while also on FaceTime with friends until I make him shut it
all down at midnight. My youngest likes to lay in bed with me and watch Netflix
or movies, then heads to the chair in our room to sleep. It’s always hard to
get him to transition back to his own bed by the time school starts. </span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s1">While my 8 year old will have a set bed time each evening, I’ll allow
the two teens to take responsibility and go to bed and get up on their own.
This has never been an issue for my daughter, but when I tried this with my son
last year, he could not get out of bed. Even when we woke him up, he fell right
back to sleep. Now that he is a freshman in High School, he will need to learn
how to go to bed at a time in which he gets enough sleep, and can roll out of
bed in the morning. </span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-LZGwBqoiRbMTvvOhA7F1Ci6xrS6Kj4xxmZ5e4XgqnEBNAdBq7Xq_aeizTd8ypyLvKjf3zZvA-0q7I6vMIhX7JjGtVSZ3GNasWxbh3PwWeJATOd97273VRah3fxeZkz7K_GyPrww6580/s1600/3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="512" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-LZGwBqoiRbMTvvOhA7F1Ci6xrS6Kj4xxmZ5e4XgqnEBNAdBq7Xq_aeizTd8ypyLvKjf3zZvA-0q7I6vMIhX7JjGtVSZ3GNasWxbh3PwWeJATOd97273VRah3fxeZkz7K_GyPrww6580/s400/3.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="p2">
<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s1">I have also warned my teens, that if at anytime their grades are at C,
I will be on them daily until it’s at a B or better. If they should have a D,
they will lose their phone and be put on a bedtime schedule. The great thing
about our schools, is that I can get on an app and check their grades everyday. </span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s1">Another issue we had in the past, was the kids getting the normal
school lunch, then buying a bunch of extra junk and charging it to their
accounts as if they have their own personal credit card for food. It’s always
good to be able to monitor this situation online.</span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s1">On this week prior to school beginning again, we will drop off school
supplies and meet the 3rd grade teacher. Freshman orientation, pictures and
class schedule will occur, while my sophomore will get her schedule, take pics
and try to get a parking spot for the upcoming year. </span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<br /></div>
<div class="p2">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I will be
happy about getting back into some sort of a routine again. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<i><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s1">Herb Cody is a husband and father of three. He is a part time Uber
driver and full time caregiver of his spouse, who suffered a traumatic
brain injury after an auto accident November, 2015. Herb loves football and is
a St Louis Cardinals fanatic. He and his family live in Nixa, MO. Herb can be
reached for questions or comments at <a href="mailto:herbie05@yahoo.com">herbie05@yahoo.com</a></span></span></i><i><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s1">. You can check out Herb's own blog at,</span></span></i><i>
</i></div>
<div class="p2">
<i><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="s1"><a href="https://nam05.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thecodylife.weebly.com&data=02%7C01%7Cstephanie%40gooddads.com%7Cc105d9d11ad24674711f08d71a135287%7Cf643528126f244108d81dcddf3b9d6c8%7C0%7C0%7C637006542613704484&sdata=QtEIujgEyoFIvdgdzxDu2%2BE98oGJ9Z9nruY7lcq87hE%3D&reserved=0">www.thecodylife.weebly.com</a></span></span></i>
</div>
GoodDadshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08527992858917748115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5862295063253125533.post-19014214497305945722019-08-06T07:44:00.000-07:002019-08-07T01:59:48.351-07:00What Breaks Your Heart?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Shawn
Askinosie knows about heartbreak. When he was 12, his father was diagnosed with
lung cancer. At 13, he learned to give his father the injections of Demerol
required for pain management. When he was 14, his father died.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">During the
period of his father’s declining health, the leader of a well-meaning prayer
group suggested there should be “no talk about death.” To do so, the leader
said, indicated a lack of faith in their prayers for healing. After his father
died, Shawn said he spent the next 25 years overcoming every obstacle in his
path and accomplishing every goal presented to him as a means of dealing with
his untreated adolescent grief. </span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYCC5DhyphenhyphenfFwBDViQLFIY2roBqsTtVEM0GTzSxjG32ix8QbmoQ5mu5JA0ZJ2Hi3_R2c_quDnmrpbbE6McJpM0CiHgVxhafjeg1wcUy8I9uUUgNvzToOW4Bc2WAs6e_K7Yub31zvpi_uuBY/s1600/Askinosie+2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="478" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYCC5DhyphenhyphenfFwBDViQLFIY2roBqsTtVEM0GTzSxjG32ix8QbmoQ5mu5JA0ZJ2Hi3_R2c_quDnmrpbbE6McJpM0CiHgVxhafjeg1wcUy8I9uUUgNvzToOW4Bc2WAs6e_K7Yub31zvpi_uuBY/s640/Askinosie+2.JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Shawn Askinosie, his father Lawrence, and brother Jason<br />
<i>Photo courtesy of Shawn Askinosie </i></td></tr>
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<br />
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The
conclusion of a successful murder trial where Shawn served as the defense
attorney, eventually led to a personal recognition of an “out of balance life.”
The book <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Tuesdays with Morrie</i> was
also a big influence during this period. What occurred next is what Shawn
refers to as a “time of physical and emotional reawakening.” Five years after
the trial’s conclusion, he found himself choosing an entirely new life
associated with chocolate. He also reports coming to see heartbreak, including
his own, as a necessary ingredient to a full life.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">“If you
love,” he explains, “you will know the grief and sorrow of loss.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Today Shawn
is the CEO of <a href="https://askinosie.com/" target="_blank">Askinosie Chocolate</a>, a small batch, award winning chocolate
factory in Springfield, Missouri. Askinosie Chocolate has been named “One of the
25 Best Small Companies in America” by Forbes and featured in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal,</i>
on Bloomberg, MSNBC and various other national and international media outlets.
Shawn also serves on the board of <a href="http://www.lostandfoundozarks.com/" target="_blank">Lost & Found Grief Center</a> of Southwest
Missouri, an organization he helped start to assist children in dealing with
grief and loss.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Shawn and his daughter Lawren (named after his father, Lawrence) now work together at Askinosie Chocolate<br />
<i>Photo courtesy of Shawn Askinosie </i></td></tr>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Today Shawn
sees heartbreak as a necessity for a full life. If this is so, then how does a
thoughtful parent handle this tender topic? Shawn offers these considerations:</span></div>
<br />
<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">1. Avoid trying to inoculate or prevent all heartbreak for your child.</span></b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"> Loss and grief are inevitable. Offer
support and empathy, but try not to prevent or rescue.</span><br />
<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">2. Model healthy grieving.</span></b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"> Allow your child to see what brings you great joy and deep
sadness. A child who sees healthy grieving modeled by a loving parent learns to
handle loss.</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"> </span></span><br />
<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">3. Help kids learn that broken hearts are meant to be tended, not fixed.</span></b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"> Embracing a loss, versus avoiding or
denying, helps children grow in compassion.</span><br />
<br />
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">There was a
time when Shawn Askinosie was a fearsome trial attorney. These days he speaks
in a different voice, emphasizing and encouraging language of hope and
compassion for our children and others.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
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<i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">This
article was written by Dr. Jennifer Baker, Founder and Executive Director of
Good Dads, following a podcast with Shawn. To hear the full interview, download
</span></i><a href="http://traffic.libsyn.com/gooddads/LoveGriefWork_-_ShawnAskinosie_-_Part_1.mp3"><i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">part 1</span></i></a><i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"> and </span></i><a href="http://traffic.libsyn.com/gooddads/LoveGriefWork_-_ShawnAskinosie_-_Part_2.mp3"><i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">part 2</span></i></a><i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"> of his Good Dads podcast. </span></i></div>
GoodDadshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08527992858917748115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5862295063253125533.post-13304650049443623782019-07-30T13:46:00.000-07:002019-07-31T13:01:55.020-07:00"Did You Lose Your Pants?" | Making a Case for Morning Routines<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<i><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">For
those of you fathers out there who drive the kids to school each day, here is
an old blog post of mine that you may relate to as we're getting back into the swing of things with the start of school right around the corner... </span></span></span></i><br />
<h3>
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<br />
For about the past month, whenever that alarm screams at me to rise, I've been
a complete zombie. I literally get out of bed, slip on some sandals, yell
"load up" and take the kids to school. This is a complete gamble on
my part, because the kids are usually not ready at all. I've had to turn around
several times to retrieve items like backpacks, socks, Chromebooks and lunch.
Since about May 23rd, I've been shuttling the kids to school in the same outfit
I roll out of bed in, which is my boxer shorts and a t-shirt. One morning last
week, the boys were upset because they didn't have time to eat breakfast. I
thought I would be the good Dad, and swing by the convenience store to grab
them donuts on the way to school. </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA6OXvvNuBxYC49FwEvwI7W9tFMWeIr2Gz78dpWLSYx6yknv_jtEvdHA2Eqfq878VWT7J5aqi4_-IV94TWCf80NFHVHxZgiqGU2_nWkLJPCYzV74NRXxFSM9dzW43KRlcKjDNimWa3H5k/s640/3.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="640" /></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> <span style="background-color: rgba(255,255,255,0);">I dropped my daughter off at school first, then pulled into the Casey's General Store parking lot. My youngest asked, "Dad
what are you doing?" I explained that I was gonna grab breakfast for
them. I pulled into a spot up front, opened my car door and slowly got out. I
could hear some giggling from the boys in the back seat. I figured they were
playing one of the silly games they seem to wanna play way too early in the
morning. I shut the door and walked into the store. I looked towards the case
filled with sugary treats, and suddenly realized......oh no.....I had forgotten
my glasses at home. I had gotten out of bed and failed to put them on. What an
idiot!!! I'm standing there squinting, trying to figure out which delicious
delights I would treat my children to, when I heard a strange voice behind me.
"Did you lose your pants?" a man asked. I looked behind me to see
who he was talking to and what moron was walking around without pants. As I
turned towards the strange voice, I happened to look down. Oh no.....holy
sh!@t!!! I was the imbecile the voice was talking to. I had completely
forgotten I strolled out of the house in my undies. I've gotta believe, if my
daughter were still in the car, she would not have let me exit the vehicle. My
boys on the other hand, they could care less. They just thought it was Dad's
newest attempt at humor.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCkuXt8FT8VpnKHhawKQIwuKkVpfTqvEbYB-Chq40aHCKEfyRCfLljUAhO2f8Epb8HVmavSKdSBH5fgsEIhJ4IMxBvUpYC5IBwlD4USOMqW0DTdCMJYan3gpb-WauXsDItIY345Zy-d_g/s1600/2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCkuXt8FT8VpnKHhawKQIwuKkVpfTqvEbYB-Chq40aHCKEfyRCfLljUAhO2f8Epb8HVmavSKdSBH5fgsEIhJ4IMxBvUpYC5IBwlD4USOMqW0DTdCMJYan3gpb-WauXsDItIY345Zy-d_g/s640/2.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255,255,255,0);">There I am in my old, red, Adidas t-shirt, and my bright blue, striped, boxer
shorts. I have a few pair that have the button on the front to keep the barn
door shut. This particular pair of "Fruit of the Loom's" did not have
the button. I was one awkward movement from letting the turtle poke its head
out of its shell. For all I know, it had already gotten a peek. I did not say a
word to the man, or anyone else, I just turned and walked out as quickly as I
could. I got back into the car where my youngest was quick to point out that he
wasn't the only forgetful one.<br />
A week or so earlier, I was rushing to get the boys to their games. My 6-year-old had gotten dressed, got into the car, and rode all the way to the fields
before realizing he had no shoes on. Obviously, I was frustrated that I had to
go back home to get his shoes. He had remembered this, and was letting me know
about it.</span></span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJInANMBJ1NvRduUS2NXnjESbH173R6IPhSyn9yVE-GlKEBqjQnbnOdkNjcajyu5c1epRMTS9dT08830MAMDd0YiUqYSAGEeOlwPg0she_maiJiwocUMSKkGFBRqHkhi7__Bka32vSXec/s1600/1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJInANMBJ1NvRduUS2NXnjESbH173R6IPhSyn9yVE-GlKEBqjQnbnOdkNjcajyu5c1epRMTS9dT08830MAMDd0YiUqYSAGEeOlwPg0she_maiJiwocUMSKkGFBRqHkhi7__Bka32vSXec/s640/1.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255,255,255,0);">Needless to say, I've made sure to get myself properly dressed in the morning
since.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="xp1">
<span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255,255,255,0);"><span class="xs1">Herb Cody is a husband and father of three. He is a part time Uber
driver and full time caregiver of his spouse, who suffered a traumatic
brain injury after an auto accident November, 2015. Herb loves football and is
a St. Louis Cardinals fanatic. He and his family live in Nixa, MO. Herb can be
reached for questions or comments at <a href="mailto:herbie05@yahoo.com">herbie05@yahoo.com</a></span></span></span></i></span><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255,255,255,0);"><span class="xs1">, and you can check out Herb's own blog at<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> </span></span></span></span></i></span><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255,255,255,0);"><a href="https://nam05.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thecodylife.weebly.com&data=02%7C01%7Cstephanie%40gooddads.com%7C67fafb217efe42bed77708d714634b0b%7Cf643528126f244108d81dcddf3b9d6c8%7C0%7C0%7C637000289011565320&sdata=TRmngsMkGD%2B%2B2DJC804cF5V4NPZ3tin66GjyrNlzzAA%3D&reserved=0">www.thecodylife.weebly.com</a></span></span></i></span></div>
GoodDadshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08527992858917748115noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5862295063253125533.post-52375314505114127112019-07-17T08:43:00.003-07:002019-07-17T08:58:22.369-07:00"Say You're Sorry" -- Teaching Forgiveness -- Dr. Jennifer Baker, Founder & Executive Director<br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">“Say you’re
sorry.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Many parents
instruct children to express regret for thoughtless actions to another using
these words. Head down, face frowning, the child mumbles “Sorry.” In return, he
may hear, “Sorry too” or “That’s alright.” <br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It’s really
not alright. No one really feels much better, except perhaps the adult, who believes
he has done his job in helping a child learn the importance of an apology or of
accepting the apology of another.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">This is pretty
much the place many adults are stuck when it comes to their experience of asking
for or offering forgiveness to another. They recall a shame-faced, command
performance required by a parent or other significant adult when they were
young. It only happened because someone bigger and more powerful than them was
requiring it. In actuality, the thing for which they were likely sorriest was
getting caught.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Ideally, by the time we reach adulthood, we should be able
to reflect on the impact of our actions and at least try to take the
perspective of someone other than ourselves. Empathy requires trying to understand
how another might feel, even if we don’t share their experience. It’s an
important tool to have in one’s toolbox when it comes to offering forgiveness.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">There are benefits to letting go of our right to even the
score with another. Most of us understand this. The harder part is to actually forgive.
How does one do this, especially if the hurt is longstanding and particularly grievous.
Here are some steps to consider:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>1. </b>Contrary to what you may have experienced as a child, <b>forgiving someone does not mean saying, “That’s
alright.” </b>If it’s alright, it doesn’t require forgiveness. Only things that
were not acceptable, that hurt or did damage to us or someone we love, require
actual forgiveness.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>2. Forgiving someone
does mean giving up the right to get even.</b> It means cleaning up the revenge
scenarios in our head, chasing them out, and locking the door. If holding a
grudge means allowing someone to live rent free in your head, then letting go
of the grudge suggests sweeping them out of the house and chasing them down the
road.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>3. Forgiving someone may
also mean telling yourself a different story.</b> Perhaps you’ve identified yourself
as a victim for a long time. Letting go of the anger and resentment means at
least trying to understand what might have influenced another to act as he or
she did without attaching a nasty label. It means eliminating ugly names and referring
to them as a person with shortcomings and weaknesses. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>4.</b> Telling yourself a different story also means <b>telling yourself what kind of person you
want to be</b> in the face of this wound or unkindness. How would you like to
manage hurt and anger? What might you need to do to live above and beyond
smoldering resentment? Many people find spiritual resources to be helpful at
times like this. Is that something you could access?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>5. Forgiveness may or
may not mean reconciliation. </b>It’s not safe or wise to reconcile with an
unrepentant abuser. There are times when we must maintain strong boundaries
with difficult people, limiting the amount of time we spend with them,
particularly if they take no ownership for their troublesome or quarrelsome
behavior. We can still forgive for our part, but true reconciliation requires
both parties to admit their part in the problem and work toward rebuilding
trust with each other.<b><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Much more has been written about forgiveness. If it’s an
area where you are struggling, speaking with a professional (clergy, therapist)
or even a close friend can be helpful in letting go and moving on for your
benefit and that of your child.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i>Dr.
Jennifer Baker is the Founder and Director of Good Dads. She is the
wife of one, mother of two and grandmother of eight. She may be reached
for question or comment at jennifer@gooddads.com.</i></span><br />
<o:p></o:p></div>
GoodDadshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08527992858917748115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5862295063253125533.post-24401614598792364522019-07-09T10:07:00.001-07:002019-07-09T10:43:03.297-07:00Let Go of Grudges for Yourself & Your Kids -- Dr. Jennifer Baker, Good Dads Founder & Director<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxEjcRWOBHz7j1yg47_VAM3Q3F-E-QxSAI7suH5NpuS2Ig6CyhJF6v02mFJAPJR_XuekLK6hlyO-AzWJw6kNTqqYvYbwZkU2kTwe99Mb6C4vRcach0dVF5R7ueKILD6R3upa6o_-P7Tzg/s1600/Warren+Wong-tunner.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="325" data-original-width="500" height="416" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxEjcRWOBHz7j1yg47_VAM3Q3F-E-QxSAI7suH5NpuS2Ig6CyhJF6v02mFJAPJR_XuekLK6hlyO-AzWJw6kNTqqYvYbwZkU2kTwe99Mb6C4vRcach0dVF5R7ueKILD6R3upa6o_-P7Tzg/s640/Warren+Wong-tunner.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Photo by Warren Wong--Upsplash</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">“Hey, my wife and I are in town and we wondered if we might
get together. It’s been a long time since we’ve seen you.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">This is the request my Main Man made of one of his cousins
several years ago. Close in age, the two of them spent many weekends in each
other’s company, along with another sibling. The city-based cousins made
regular trips to the country to visit my husband’s family and their
grandparents. The boys lived for the times they could create homegrown,
country-living adventures together. They had tales to tell about forts built in
the barn, base camps created at the river, softball games in the field, and
frustrated adults who wanted them to calm down and “stop messing around.” My
Main Man enjoyed recalling the fun and carefree times they all spent together
in their childhood and adolescence.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl1N40ap7kqOme-XMn8LZO1XLONrIserLFN0n4QUOzeUMReXsCVCdVQ4FZrtc6S355RjXEIPMY4JRWnDdL6k9-soyCI_Zdha_qBU_GCz7PdnjgwSug_PjM4Z3AXdr3KnW9fsM9raslCTU/s1600/Jordan+Whitt-boys+in+field.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="334" data-original-width="500" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl1N40ap7kqOme-XMn8LZO1XLONrIserLFN0n4QUOzeUMReXsCVCdVQ4FZrtc6S355RjXEIPMY4JRWnDdL6k9-soyCI_Zdha_qBU_GCz7PdnjgwSug_PjM4Z3AXdr3KnW9fsM9raslCTU/s640/Jordan+Whitt-boys+in+field.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Photo by Jordan Whitt, Upsplash</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Perhaps that’s why he was so surprised when his cousin
answered, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Confused, he asked about “just coffee” or meeting at a restaurant.
The answer was still “No.” Jokingly my husband asked, “This doesn’t have
anything to do with the way (cousin’s name) and I used to tease you, does it?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">“Yeah,” he said, “maybe it does.” And then there was a long
silence.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">What does one say in the face of an acknowledged grievance
decades in length? How does one respond to a hurt which appears to have
festered for a very long time? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">My Main Man did apologize, but it appeared insufficient to
soothe the grudging unhappiness settled in the soul of his cousin for nearly
four decades. Sadly, we were unable to ever connect. You simply can’t make
someone meet if they don’t want to get together. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">There are many reasons dads may want to become more aware of
grudges in their own lives. Here are just a few to consider:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Holding on to a
grudge damages your health.</b> According to researchers from the Stanford
Forgiveness Project, carrying a grudge puts our immune and cardiovascular
systems at risk. If we are committed to taking good care of our health, then
taking an inventory of possible grudges and considering how to release them is
a critical step.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Holding onto a grudge
is allowing someone else to live rent free in your head.</b> A lot of mental
energy is invested in holding on to something that has mastered you, versus you
having power over it. Dr. Frederic Luskin, founder of the Stanford Forgiveness
Project, calls it an “ineffective strategy for dealing with a life situation
that you haven’t been able to master.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">It’s sets a very poor
example for one’s children.</b> Children are far more perceptive than we give
them credit. They may hear us say they should forgive each other and express
regret for their actions, but if they never see us do it, it’s unlikely they
will do what we ask. Moreover, if they see us exhibit long-term bitterness,
anger and resentment toward a former friend or family member, they’ll typically
see this as acceptable behavior into adulthood.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Want to let go of the past? Want to let hurtful things have
less power over your day-to-day life? Desire to set a better standard for your
children?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Check back next week for some
specific ways to let go of harmful grudges and move toward a more health-filled
future.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i>Dr. Jennifer Baker is the Founder and Director of Good Dads. She is the wife of one, mother of two and grandmother of eight. She may be reached for question or comment at jennifer@gooddads.com.</i></span></div>
<br />GoodDadshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08527992858917748115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5862295063253125533.post-13924839114208131752019-06-19T11:44:00.000-07:002019-06-19T11:44:06.378-07:00Traveling with Kids -- Kevin Weaver, Father of Three and Grandfather<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9v3LVWTFibDWdTiJlKSpmx4RrK4p4xO3nrnLz2WBSFYraHQJPEtpeeGCw5tLv8EmihtFo_pzzYBf31LnxKiuYh4aOUlW6IISsyjgtbfWVEW1Q3ySPwg3oTQRO7B6j7-F75i6JI-KLoaQ/s1600/photo-1472586662442-3eec04b9dbda.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="332" data-original-width="500" height="424" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9v3LVWTFibDWdTiJlKSpmx4RrK4p4xO3nrnLz2WBSFYraHQJPEtpeeGCw5tLv8EmihtFo_pzzYBf31LnxKiuYh4aOUlW6IISsyjgtbfWVEW1Q3ySPwg3oTQRO7B6j7-F75i6JI-KLoaQ/s640/photo-1472586662442-3eec04b9dbda.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Upsplash Photo -- Leo Rivas</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">If you ask for parental opinions on traveling with children, stand
back and prepare yourself for responses of the very strong and greatly varied
nature. While my wife and I were all for packing up the whole gang and hitting
the road, or sky, or sea, we completely understood how daunting the thought of
it all could be. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">A simple Google search will yield ample articles and
research-based studies, singing the praises of traveling with one’s young.
Seeing the world, or even other parts of a home state, give opportunities for
families to bond, as well as experiences children can learn and grow from.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What the articles and research state are
rarely opposed by parents, because as most know travel is, in its purest form,
a wonderful thing. Parents aren’t put off by giving their kids experiences, but
rather by the paying for, planning, and pulling off of the experiences. Whether
approaching travel when our kids were babies, or now as we travel with our kids
and their babies, three things have been and still remain non-negotiables for consideration.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">First,
parents have to count the cost.</span></b><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;"> Keeping up with the Joneses has always been a
thing. However, in this age of social media, it’s an extremely amplified thing.
Constant bombardment via Facebook posts and Instagram pics of seemingly perfect
vacations with perfect families enjoying them can be dishearteningly
overwhelming to most of us in the parental population. No matter how staged we
have come to understand many images in our society to be, the sting of not
being able to give our kids extravagant trips can get to us. However, very
early on, my wife and I learned that it’s not always about where a family
travels, it’s about the family just simply traveling . . . together. In 30
years of parenting, we have taken everything from “eating sandwiches out of the
back of the minivan on the way to the campsite” to “flying across the country
and staying at hotels with cool indoor pool” trips. Not even getting much time
in this blog, are the “staycations” we have enjoyed, and we truly did enjoy
them. Don’t feel the need to overspend or go in debt to give your kids travel
memories. If you are stressed about the finances, chances are no one will have
a great time. Definitely make travel experiences a goal, but also make sure you
do your homework in selecting the right kind of trip for both your family and
your family’s financial seasons.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisf1YhWKPJ3MS3tDlF1jRGQlqVz7zZqk9XgyYhFCQbElsHVMpb0GLMQPviUT8sLN_JalUJ8Vg0wxhhdjmCJUwgDMY-P8IImZRM80ph_GQG1YU7khbYEiR4iL0u353PeqNhnd6yBLG35Xk/s1600/June+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="768" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisf1YhWKPJ3MS3tDlF1jRGQlqVz7zZqk9XgyYhFCQbElsHVMpb0GLMQPviUT8sLN_JalUJ8Vg0wxhhdjmCJUwgDMY-P8IImZRM80ph_GQG1YU7khbYEiR4iL0u353PeqNhnd6yBLG35Xk/s640/June+2.jpg" width="512" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Planning:
</span></b><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">The second thing we always have considered when planning family
travel is thorough planning. When I say “planning,” I don’t mean strict, regimenting
schedules where the parents have to play the roles of “wagon masters.” If you
have had kids for more than a minute, you know flexibility is something you
have to leave room for. But, doing your trip homework paves the way for
smoother travel times. Don’t roll your eyes at travel guides, especially those
created with kids in mind. Of course, the internet is ripe with all sorts of
resources, and your local bookstore or library is, as well. We leverage
websites and travel blogs, but we also enjoy getting our hands on a good old
paper version of a Birnbaum guide. As your planning, don’t forget to include
your kids in the process, you might be surprised how the excitement and bonding
can begin long before your trip does. In fact, there have been so many times
our kids have told us, “planning the trip and anticipating its arrival was as
fun as the trip itself.”</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-MPzMHzAgZmJ5LjJ-AnDxoZXftpdx7DJpz5WuuRsIpQXke4a7P8qi2qjrPhr8ROoF3q7cWA19Gu42OHLO_nGx9HWULh0-xkfJg_trELBvvPgc8wTViXkDl488Hmj2HtVOpe0HUI1rZQ0/s1600/June+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-MPzMHzAgZmJ5LjJ-AnDxoZXftpdx7DJpz5WuuRsIpQXke4a7P8qi2qjrPhr8ROoF3q7cWA19Gu42OHLO_nGx9HWULh0-xkfJg_trELBvvPgc8wTViXkDl488Hmj2HtVOpe0HUI1rZQ0/s640/June+4.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Execution:</span></b><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;"> Finally,
when it comes to pulling the whole thing off, well, if you’ve figured out to
pay for it, and you’ve thoroughly planned for it, execution should be the fun
part. If you’re not worrying about the money, or having arguments in the car
about where to go next because you’ve got a solid plan, you have eliminated a
majority of the typical trip stressors. So, limit your phone usage, which goes
for parents, as well as kids, and purpose to be 100% in the moments you have so
eagerly anticipated . . . together.</span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 17.12px;"><span style="color: #212121; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px; font-style: italic;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 17.12px;"><span style="color: #212121; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px; font-style: italic;"><br /></span></span>
Kevin Weaver, CEO of Network211 and father of three sons, lives with his wife KyAnne in Springfield, MO. He enjoys spending time with family, hunting and watching University of Kansas basketball with his boys! He can be reached at </span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px; font-style: italic;">kweaver@network211.com</span><br />
<br />GoodDadshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08527992858917748115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5862295063253125533.post-77442988458129798812019-06-04T09:42:00.001-07:002019-06-04T09:42:17.251-07:00Traveling with Kids -- Herb Cody, Nixa Father of Three<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixtkQ8s3BQ1U5_x2ili2YybjOFv7GYqlXeKbgeopogFxnjxKlyKgL9Xx3eFi1JywDn3UWUeG5nJ88Ki7vkd9wzicdVXD-hY0SO4XZu_TIHvEQPS-kCtFpN-QOHNPaDWb-Sb5rY3x4T83Q/s1600/Jayme+McColgan.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="375" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixtkQ8s3BQ1U5_x2ili2YybjOFv7GYqlXeKbgeopogFxnjxKlyKgL9Xx3eFi1JywDn3UWUeG5nJ88Ki7vkd9wzicdVXD-hY0SO4XZu_TIHvEQPS-kCtFpN-QOHNPaDWb-Sb5rY3x4T83Q/s1600/Jayme+McColgan.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="xs1"><span style="color: #212121;"><i>Photo by Jayme McColgan -- Upsplash</i></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span class="xs1"><span style="color: #212121;">Back in 2012, my wife
and I made the decision to take our three children, then 9, 8 and 1, to Disney
World in Orlando FL. What a fun vacation and lots of memories for the kids, we
thought. We stayed for a week, and got some time at the Ocean, took in a Rays
baseball game, got on a pirate ship and did several other fun things besides
Disney. </span></span><span style="color: #212121;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhilnIxd9g8ip7SPDMhAdplxMEux2fXbKipgQ2wmWfUjqtmyMyUu6ODDqsH3l4on6Gcll4e2lCqF0Y1EYrfcQ0kDLlone-chpBx4zE2I874DlsxnUN_6Nfhl_q6Mw159LmqTLim-2zMmQg/s1600/Rays+BB.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="640" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhilnIxd9g8ip7SPDMhAdplxMEux2fXbKipgQ2wmWfUjqtmyMyUu6ODDqsH3l4on6Gcll4e2lCqF0Y1EYrfcQ0kDLlone-chpBx4zE2I874DlsxnUN_6Nfhl_q6Mw159LmqTLim-2zMmQg/s640/Rays+BB.jpeg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="xs1"><span style="color: #212121;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="xs1"><span style="color: #212121;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Seven
years later, I decided to ask the kids what they loved most about that trip. I
knew our youngest would have no memory, which he did not. I asked my son Alex,
“what was your favorite memory from our trip to Disney World?” His response,
“which one?” I explained that there was only one. He then said he didn’t
remember any of it, but loved the water park at Six Flags—St Louis.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span class="xs1"><span style="color: #212121;">I asked my daughter who
was 9 at the time, now almost 16, the same question. She also said she could
not remember the trip. So I spent over $5k so we could spend a week in hellish
heat and humidity, when I could have just taken them to Six Flags or Silver
Dollar City.</span></span><span style="color: #212121;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirxKbh4S8eiv2I0IquUetGdZ6i3USWHlU8H4OWn5O2XTNahJvfeQQNSg5PmEwR4x1XZYzkv-jbDMag8xZ37ieHxvHVO52CLrcN7WWLR_i6QIASh64iw6oQ_DucAQGoxG7DeMZZp2HYU6k/s1600/family+vaca.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="640" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirxKbh4S8eiv2I0IquUetGdZ6i3USWHlU8H4OWn5O2XTNahJvfeQQNSg5PmEwR4x1XZYzkv-jbDMag8xZ37ieHxvHVO52CLrcN7WWLR_i6QIASh64iw6oQ_DucAQGoxG7DeMZZp2HYU6k/s640/family+vaca.jpeg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="xs1"><span style="color: #212121;">Over
the years we have taken several weekend road trips to the lake, Branson, St.
Louis or KC. For whatever reason, my oldest son gets car sick more times than
not. The first few times, we dealt with unexpected and sudden projectile
vomiting in the back seat. Since then, we made sure we were fully prepared. </span></span></span><span style="color: #212121;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfOHFGkH9Ib1WuqvbDHYX1PyIQ5oKfDeZxJ8iWhxJOZlIMWGetn0tYDI2heqdH4a4uvVi7_ZX5XIMO6lHMNzfFBX8y0VfqNnQzVHVPpjYW7iNewep_kBAUFlfP3xKlRu4UxBtVbZR1U78/s1600/plane+travel.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfOHFGkH9Ib1WuqvbDHYX1PyIQ5oKfDeZxJ8iWhxJOZlIMWGetn0tYDI2heqdH4a4uvVi7_ZX5XIMO6lHMNzfFBX8y0VfqNnQzVHVPpjYW7iNewep_kBAUFlfP3xKlRu4UxBtVbZR1U78/s640/plane+travel.jpeg" width="480" /></a></div>
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<div class="xp1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background: white; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="xs1"><span style="color: #212121;">Last
December, we took a week-long trip to Las Vegas. I knew the Christmas lights
would be something to see, and there were lots of fun things for the kids to
do. Now that the children were 7, 13 and 15, it made the trip a whole lot less
stressful and more enjoyable. The only real issue was what to eat. My youngest
is very picky, and doesn’t like change. While we tried a few different
establishments, I always ended up having to find him some McDonald’s or a
Subway. Buffets are always the best option, because each of them can always
find something they like, or at least get full trying everything they don’t
like. </span></span></span><span style="color: #212121;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span class="xs1"><span style="color: #212121;">I
would have to say that “vacationing” with multiple children under the age of
10, is not a vacation at all. If I had to do it over again, I’d keep the trips
local and within a few hours driving distance, until at least two of them were
over 10 years of age. </span></span></span><span style="color: #212121;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span class="xs1"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #212121;">Herb
Cody is a husband and father of three. He is a part time Uber driver and full
time caregiver of his spouse, who suffered a traumatic brain injury after
an auto accident November, 2015. Herb loves football and is a St Louis
Cardinals fanatic. He and his family live in Nixa MO. Herb can be reached for
questions or comments at <a data-auth="NotApplicable" href="mailto:herbie05@yahoo.com" target="_blank">herbie05@yahoo.com</a></span></i></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #212121;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<span class="xs1"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #212121;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">You
can check out Herb's own blog at, <a href="https://nam05.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thecodylife.weebly.com&data=02%7C01%7Cjennifer%40gooddads.com%7C42cbb4ad528647e21e7308d6e89f032b%7Cf643528126f244108d81dcddf3b9d6c8%7C0%7C0%7C636952166990556754&sdata=XmhVIkbkCeV5yRKjukyK7PpDbOQiIESAqYoI7auGQJk%3D&reserved=0" target="_blank" title="Original URL: http://www.thecodylife.weebly.com
Click or tap if you trust this link.">www.thecodylife.weebly.com</a></span></span></i></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #212121; font-family: "Segoe UI",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />GoodDadshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08527992858917748115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5862295063253125533.post-44045507714948236552019-05-29T07:05:00.002-07:002019-05-29T07:05:32.222-07:00Are We Fooling Ourselves? -- Dr. Jennifer Baker<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUd31gvWnnpESiVuNRl5O7sRqKcDO3-820G_yiVX93Z5M1rr3v-AbzI1TsBjzZ3sbk_XK8sxxHzD9ixPObyFtlTmMoh8fvoB_nyIjxXr-RvFalux7XBMf_xSU2pMCcCrIwCk9zdWxvoZ4/s1600/Wrong+Way+sign+--+NeONBRAND.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="333" data-original-width="500" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUd31gvWnnpESiVuNRl5O7sRqKcDO3-820G_yiVX93Z5M1rr3v-AbzI1TsBjzZ3sbk_XK8sxxHzD9ixPObyFtlTmMoh8fvoB_nyIjxXr-RvFalux7XBMf_xSU2pMCcCrIwCk9zdWxvoZ4/s640/Wrong+Way+sign+--+NeONBRAND.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<i style="background-color: white; color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">Photo from NeONBRAND--Upsplash</i></div>
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<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">She didn’t exactly whack the back of my head when she lifted the
lid on the overhead compartment in the plane, but she did hit it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">“Watch your head,” she said matter-of-factly, <i>after</i> she
hit me.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Since I was removing my jacket from the overhead compartment on
my side of the aisle at the time, I hadn’t expected to be hit.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">“I didn’t know I needed to watch,” I said.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">“These things are so poorly design” she responded, and then
gathered her belonging and hurried out of the aircraft.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Everyone on the plane seemed a bit tired of sitting knee-to-knee
on a small regional jet, but I was a bit taken aback by her response to banging
my head. Her behavior made me think of a book I finished recently, <i>Mistakes
Were Made (but not by me)</i>. Carol Tavris and Eliot Aronson assert how little
we know about how we are experienced by others and how difficult it is for us
to learn.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">For instance, I doubt that the woman in the plane would want to
be perceived as rude or ill-mannered. My guess is that in her hurry to get off
the plane she raised the compartment lid too quickly and unintentionally hit me
in the process. Given her response, it’s likely she was embarrassed.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">She might have apologized or inquired about my well-being, but
that would have been an admission, of sorts, of her part in the head hitting.
Instead, she issued a belated warning to me and then commented on the design
flaw of the airplane. While I was a bit surprised, Tavris and Aronson suggest
this tendency is very common and not all that surprising. If we dislike certain
kinds of behavior and then find ourselves engaging in those same actions, we
have to find a way to excuse what we’ve done. In social psychology circles,
this is known as self-justification or the self-serving bias.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglbIvYxP2hcleK_BEbL4fF5V8IeJnCIRUM9peip5Ojuz5YYB7or6v9LbUzV4AogIzAnGOvEs2rTdoHW4xlDLdi4xuqX7ZTviKHywEWofYWlCc6UZN1252riYgaqSftVLRkTGm8KKXX9NU/s1600/Airplane+Interior.Ina+Carolino.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="333" data-original-width="500" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglbIvYxP2hcleK_BEbL4fF5V8IeJnCIRUM9peip5Ojuz5YYB7or6v9LbUzV4AogIzAnGOvEs2rTdoHW4xlDLdi4xuqX7ZTviKHywEWofYWlCc6UZN1252riYgaqSftVLRkTGm8KKXX9NU/s640/Airplane+Interior.Ina+Carolino.jpg" width="640" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Photo by Ino Carolina -- Upsplash</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">When someone engages in self-justification, it can sound as if
they’re lying, but there is a difference. Tavris and Aronson (2007) suggest
that self-justification is “more powerful and more dangerous” because “it
allows people to convince themselves that what they did was the best thing they
could have done” (p.4) at the time. I wonder how many acts we see described in
the nightly news would fall into the category of self-justification.</span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Tavris and Aronson describe cognitive dissonance as the “engine
that drives self-justification” (p. 13). Cognitive dissonance occurs when we
have two thoughts or perspectives that are psychologically inconsistent (e.g.,
“Punctuality is important;” and “I’m late again.”) When this happens, it is so
uncomfortable we often seek to rationalize our behavior.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Instead of: “I’m sorry I was late. I should have left earlier,”
we say, “That traffic was terrible. They really need to do something about the
streets.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Instead
of: “I over-reacted. I’m sorry I got so angry,” we say, “If you had just
explained what you wanted with more detail, I would have been fine.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<i><span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Mistakes Were Made</span></span></i><span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"> caused me to think about a
lot of things. I wondered how often I really worked to understand a perspective
other than my own. I pondered how others might experience what I see as my own
perfectly logical behavior. I considered a very human tendency to give myself a
pass on less than favorable behavior, while nailing the same flaw in others.
It’s not comfortable thinking, but if I want to avoid the justification of
foolish beliefs, bad decisions and hurtful acts, I probably need to do more of
it.<br />
<br />
Mistakenly yours, more often than I would like to admit,</span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br />
Jennifer L. Baker</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />GoodDadshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08527992858917748115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5862295063253125533.post-26475057291926003142019-05-20T12:20:00.002-07:002019-05-20T12:20:49.155-07:00The Gorgeous Significance of Lime Day -- Dan Holohan, Father of Four<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4uW6h8ncYsGAcRNE3IM-PUnDvR8xn_WelreWlwqB9xGgNJW9mHIG56DhtQZu40abWBxKHWoPZWzzwpqcwGughSSoNzc8ejoQ2LhbIgd_ouRc2oDRkz-07vAoIigZvboW79SF28qAKDTA/s1600/city-spring-new-york-photo-cc.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="320" data-original-width="427" height="478" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4uW6h8ncYsGAcRNE3IM-PUnDvR8xn_WelreWlwqB9xGgNJW9mHIG56DhtQZu40abWBxKHWoPZWzzwpqcwGughSSoNzc8ejoQ2LhbIgd_ouRc2oDRkz-07vAoIigZvboW79SF28qAKDTA/s640/city-spring-new-york-photo-cc.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Some years
ago, back when my joints didn’t crack when I dragged myself off the couch, I
was father to four little girls. The last two are twins and there’s just a bit
more than three years separating all of them.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Each night,
after supper, and after their baths, I’d lay on the rug in the living room and
they’d jump all over me. I’d roll this way and that and growl like a bear and
they’d laugh until they couldn’t catch their breath. They smelled of baby
shampoo and talcum power.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Later, I’d
sit on the couch and the four of them would sit on my lap. I’d smell their
clean hair and read to them from Danny and the Dinosaur and Sammy the Seal,
both by Syd Hoff, and perhaps the best books ever written for little kids. I’d
change the stories a bit each night and they’d shout to correct me, “No, no,
no! That’s not the way it goes.” And I’d tell them that those are the words in
the book and that I wasn’t changing a thing, and in this way, the four of them
wanted to learn how to read. To keep me honest.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I traveled to
New York for the manufacturer’s rep in those days and when I came home late and
they wondered what happened I would ask them if they hadn’t seen it on the news.
“What Daddy?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“You know
that big tennis stadium that we pass in Brooklyn when we drive sometimes? The
one that glows like a big balloon because they puff it up with air?” They nodded.
“Well, there’s a plumbing supply house right next door to that place, and today
one of the men drove his forklift into the big balloon. It was an accident, of
course, but the balloon took off into the air and flew all over the sky. It
landed across the highway and that’s why the traffic was backed up. And That’s
why I’m late.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“were the
people still inside the balloon, Daddy?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“Yes, and
they were all wearing white shorts.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">They looked
at me and at each other, and one would say, “That’s not true!” and I would look
hurt. Another would ask, “Is it true?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“Of course
it is. Don’t you watch the news on the TV?” And in this way they became
interested in current events. Can’t be too careful with those big tennis
balloons.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">They grew
and they all went to school together and I would drive them there whenever I
could. One day in early spring I had them look at the buds on the trees as we
drove and I told them that it’s important for them to pay close attention to
those buds because Lime Day was coming. I just cast it back there into the
minivan and waited for one of them to bite.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“What’s Lime
Day, Daddy?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“What’s Lime
Day? Are you serious?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">They looked
at each other, each not wanting to be the only one not knowing, and once they
agreed that it was safe to continue, one said, “We don’t know what that is?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">So I laughed
and explained to them that Lime Day is a National holiday. It comes around once
a year on the day when all the buds on all the trees are that absolutely
perfect shade of lime. “It helps if it’s misting a bit on that day because a
bit of mist makes lime even prettier.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7kp5zQTEO0laryTkjvPf-0mrkQa-LmpHmB-gFqVMNq65J3p-Mreb96QUAwGj37w2rM1qSvaDi78r9HIZUH-_Ah2j3r9aME3czFYSHeLpBBCiwoAEVcJ5RaQc757dtyLD-nnhz9Cz762k/s1600/Madison+Nickel.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="375" data-original-width="500" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7kp5zQTEO0laryTkjvPf-0mrkQa-LmpHmB-gFqVMNq65J3p-Mreb96QUAwGj37w2rM1qSvaDi78r9HIZUH-_Ah2j3r9aME3czFYSHeLpBBCiwoAEVcJ5RaQc757dtyLD-nnhz9Cz762k/s640/Madison+Nickel.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Photo by Madison Nickels</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“What day is
Lime Day, Daddy?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“That’s the
best part,” I explained. “Every kid gets to call Lime Day. You have to watch
the trees very carefully, and you have to decide for yourself that it would be
impossible for the leaves to be any more limey than they are right now. Then
you call it and that’s it. Lime Day. The next day, the leaves are just boring
green and they’ll stay that way all summer long.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“But what if
you call Lime Day and the next day is limier?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“Well, then
your sister wins and that makes you a loser,” I explained.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">They looked
at each other and said, “There’s no such day.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“Of course
there is,” I said, and as spring crept closer and closer to us that year, I
convinced them that Lime Day was as real as the Fourth of July.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Now here
comes the best part: As the weeks went by, they each went to their classes and
told the other kids about Lime Day. The other kids told my kids that they were
full of crap, of course, but in their hearts, those other kids wanted there to
be such a day because it’s just the best thing going, so they went home and
asked their parents. The kids explained Lime Day and the magnificent parents
all lied right along with me. Wouldn’t you?<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Photo by Jan's Archive</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">They came to
see the beauty of nature in the paved-over, suburban world of Long Island and
they carried it with them. In all the many years that have gone by since then,
each of my daughters call in Lime Day each spring, no matter where she is in
the world. I live for those calls.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">This blog was used with permission from a larger post by Dan Holohan, at Heatinghelp.com. To read the post in its entirety, please
go to </span></i><a href="https://heatinghelp.com/blog/sully/">https://heatinghelp.com/blog/sully/</a><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<br />GoodDadshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08527992858917748115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5862295063253125533.post-42601514347007064722019-05-15T09:13:00.000-07:002019-05-15T09:13:47.235-07:00Surviving and Thriving When Kids Are Driving -- Kevin Weaver, Springfield Father of Three<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhsihDTL4P5JSXusJfN7TJSLfSXLs-uBFHsauzrL6sV0l-36wCND4LiDO-FDRTp7XYE3bF8Nj5y82uLT9G4tY2_s9w47dPYxLg-GjG8uNsEncqwb1Pyz2qzZZU9zhjzSTR5-x2WZQQr8M/s1600/driver%2527s+seat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="579" data-original-width="960" height="386" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhsihDTL4P5JSXusJfN7TJSLfSXLs-uBFHsauzrL6sV0l-36wCND4LiDO-FDRTp7XYE3bF8Nj5y82uLT9G4tY2_s9w47dPYxLg-GjG8uNsEncqwb1Pyz2qzZZU9zhjzSTR5-x2WZQQr8M/s640/driver%2527s+seat.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">On the highway of life, there are so many wonderful
adventures with our kids. That is, on the m<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">etaphorical</i>
highway of life. On the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">literal</i>
highway, especially when our kids start sitting behind the wheel of the vehicle
we all are riding in—well, let’s just say the word “adventure” takes on a whole
new meaning. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">It’s rare to meet a child who isn’t eager to start
driving. In addition to the excitement of becoming a driver—being the one in
sole control of a three-thousand-pound automobile—our young often dream of soon
having their very own car, truck, or even motorcycle. While it’s something we
adults uneventfully, almost robotically do on a daily basis, it is not
something in which we tend to be ready to watch our offspring participate, especially
the first time around. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpMoPGK9EU15Y_O5kpf1tErClmUvt0BO2viaNNH4jFYSWgoMQgvf1OYhBIB1Bmc6DDZjRE261Dg9i1T0L8xED9wMWIeebnXrA8MqkoVsvK80cJjWXaUAnBbH4d_ljV7Q-FsqAoCHtq4ZE/s1600/mustang.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpMoPGK9EU15Y_O5kpf1tErClmUvt0BO2viaNNH4jFYSWgoMQgvf1OYhBIB1Bmc6DDZjRE261Dg9i1T0L8xED9wMWIeebnXrA8MqkoVsvK80cJjWXaUAnBbH4d_ljV7Q-FsqAoCHtq4ZE/s640/mustang.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">I imagine there are countless articles on how to keep
calm while teaching your kid to drive. Of course, there are driver’s education
courses and schools, but the real practice seems to come at the expense of the
parental finances. There also can be quite a cost in the gray hair department!</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">One of our sons learned to drive in Seattle and took a
class at an overpriced driving school. The middle boy took a class at a
moderately priced driving school in a mid-sized city on the opposite coast from
where his older brother earned his license. The youngest took an old-fashioned,
public school-sponsored, coach-taught, free-to-the-parent summer offering in a
rural Kansas community. Regardless where they cut their driving chops, my wife
and I were unequivocally the practice driving guinea pigs. We learned right
along with them, maybe not the same concepts, but we learned. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Unfortunately, the celebration at the DMV upon passing
that final test was only the beginning: we had a new driver in the family, but
we didn’t necessarily have a new car for the new driver to drive. Check that.
We absolutely didn’t have a new, or an old car, for the new driver to drive. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8s53j0mDJwjK48pTM4f8OdSlLdsc3fsN8TnnbaPxwDx_0qEI_Hni4Z2hlZPlmcDCesRE5XjeBbWyxNAiDAZeyhIq37_gZkwdS80iMHMokSYWK5yYPGGXLRWj2URms7YTEwHk9PhBaTek/s1600/Weaver+boy+on+motorcylce.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8s53j0mDJwjK48pTM4f8OdSlLdsc3fsN8TnnbaPxwDx_0qEI_Hni4Z2hlZPlmcDCesRE5XjeBbWyxNAiDAZeyhIq37_gZkwdS80iMHMokSYWK5yYPGGXLRWj2URms7YTEwHk9PhBaTek/s640/Weaver+boy+on+motorcylce.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">What do parents do with this dilemma? Of course, it
will vary from family to family, not only due to financial situations, but also
to family beliefs and priorities. My wife and I decided that if we were having
the boys help with family driving duties, such as dropping a sibling at a
sports’ practice, or running to the store for milk, we provided the vehicle.
Beyond that, if the child was keeping up at school, with chores, and certainly
with wise choices, he could occasionally borrow one of our vehicles for
something he wanted to do. Said vehicle would have to be returned on time,
clean, and filled with fuel. If that didn’t suffice, the child was free to work
to earn money to purchase, provide gas, maintenance, tags, taxes, and insurance
for his own. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">As with anything in the world of parenting, judgment
from others abounds. We had friends who thought we were winning at the
parenting game and others who thought we were harsh taskmasters. In the end,
now that all boys are grown with families of their own, I thankfully can say they
consistently thank us for allowing them to discover the pride of hard work,
responsibility, and ownership from a young age. They also feel it made for true
“adulting.” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is especially so now they
are becoming parents themselves, a transition not seemingly as difficult as
many of their peers claim to experience. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglP2AMGt0iA4e24uyzjrCG94mtkVJCpDnomOhM4IeLsFOM9m6y8OInSHSe9Y4OlNjA1T9_9v6GVOABxp78X0V0d2JKErYzEpvCgXbVNOADdpjg2mdL8gvZ25tBbTkogV2eRh-3vt7oz7U/s1600/washing+car.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="959" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglP2AMGt0iA4e24uyzjrCG94mtkVJCpDnomOhM4IeLsFOM9m6y8OInSHSe9Y4OlNjA1T9_9v6GVOABxp78X0V0d2JKErYzEpvCgXbVNOADdpjg2mdL8gvZ25tBbTkogV2eRh-3vt7oz7U/s640/washing+car.jpg" width="638" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Again, every family is different. Every family has
varying circumstances. Every family has to find its own rhythm. In your search
for the right familial beat, don’t rule out the opportunities to empower your
children in discovering how good it can feel to not only be a responsible
driver, but to simply be . . . responsible. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: arial, tahoma, helvetica, freesans, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 17.12px;"><span style="color: #212121; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px; font-style: italic;">Kevin Weaver, CEO of Network211 and father of three sons, lives with his wife KyAnne in Springfield, MO. He enjoys spending time with family, hunting and watching University of Kansas basketball with his boys! He can be reached at </span></span><span style="color: #212121; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px; font-style: italic;">kweaver@network211.com</span></div>
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<br />GoodDadshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08527992858917748115noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5862295063253125533.post-46827845363492308722019-05-08T13:35:00.000-07:002019-05-08T13:35:45.220-07:00Danger and Driving Lessons: Dad or Driving School??? -- Nixa Father of Three, Herb Cody<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjFzegCcuWgL0F3QqSA8ZYyvweKf8gL_2NS_S48_802N1UanbBPFrNdoVWhjpbWwDqVMd6YbBqYNsYBYJ-FTNzOAdBO5mAVhv9NbBfsTw3Cf0dLvQo8vdrVvxTIF16vwP5f2W_eIekmW4/s1600/image2.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="640" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjFzegCcuWgL0F3QqSA8ZYyvweKf8gL_2NS_S48_802N1UanbBPFrNdoVWhjpbWwDqVMd6YbBqYNsYBYJ-FTNzOAdBO5mAVhv9NbBfsTw3Cf0dLvQo8vdrVvxTIF16vwP5f2W_eIekmW4/s640/image2.jpeg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #212121; font-family: "segoe ui" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">Last July, my oldest
child, my daughter, turned 15. She was so excited to take the driver's permit
test. There was a part of me that hoped she would fail over and over, so that I
would not have to get in the passenger seat with her. Unfortunately, she passed,
and I had to overcome my fear of riding shotgun with my kiddo. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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It had only been eleven years since I survived a near fatal car accident in
which I was the front seat passenger. The driver veered off the shoulder,
over-corrected, and sent us into barrel roll at 60 MPH. Since that day, I
prefer to be in the driver’s seat. I break out into cold sweats while sitting
in the passenger seat and prefer to avoid it, if at all possible. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Before our first attempt at allowing her behind the wheel, I tried to feed her
as much info as possible prior to her even turning the key. I told myself I
would treat the situation as if I were face to face with a coyote. I would not
show fear! Hopefully this would keep my daughter relaxed and keep me alive. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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With all the information I had given her, I did not realize just how little she
knew. I mean she did pass tests in order to get a permit. I pulled the
vehicle to the side of the road in a neighborhood with little to no traffic. I
told her to slowly turn left onto the street. There was a mailbox about 30
yards in front of us For some reason, she thought turning the steering wheel
right would turn the vehicle left . . . and, in that moment, had I been face to
face with a coyote, I would have died! We managed to avoid the mailbox and get
the car on the street, but this would turn out to be the scariest two minute
ride back to our home.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Soon after this first attempt at driving, she tore her ACL and meniscus while
playing basketball, and I fell and broke my leg shortly after. We both had
surgery and our driving days were on hold. Having youth on her side, she healed
up much quicker than I. By the end of August, she was begging to drive
again. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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I was slowly getting around with a walker and wheelchair. After having been bed
ridden for 6 weeks, I guess I was feeling the need for some danger and
excitement in my life. I agreed to go for a ride with her around the
neighborhood. I loaded myself into the death seat, and sat my walker as far
away from the vehicle as my arms could reach. My wheelchair was also sitting
about 5 feet away. I told her to slowly back out of the driveway and go.
Apparently, what she heard, was "Turn the wheel hard left and gun it." </span></div>
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<span style="color: #212121; font-family: "segoe ui" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">“Boom,
crack, crunch”, those were the sounds I heard as she hit my wheelchair, and ran
over my walker! </span></div>
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<span style="color: #212121; font-family: "segoe ui" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">“Dad! Why did you put that stuff so close to the car?” She
asked. I explained, if it were a parked car sitting next to us, she would have
just side swiped it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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I hesitantly proceeded with the ride along. We slowly crept up a large hill,
which was just fine with me. As we reached a plateau, there was an upcoming
curve and we began to pick up speed. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #212121; font-family: "segoe ui" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">I said, “You are gonna need to slow down. Slow down please. Tap the brakes. HIT THE BRAKE!!!”</span></div>
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<span style="color: #212121; font-family: "segoe ui" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">I closed my eyes and began
to pray, as we sped through this sharp corner. “You are making me nervous Dad”,
she said, with a hint of displeasure in </span><span style="color: #212121; font-family: "segoe ui" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">voice. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #212121; font-family: "segoe ui" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">“You are gonna give me a
heart attack, and a nervous breakdown!" I fearfully explained. </span></div>
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We managed to make it back to the driveway where I could now assess the damage
to my chair and walker. The walker was bent and unusable. I immediately made a
call to Mercy Driving School and signed her up for driving lessons. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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She has had three</span><span style="color: #212121; font-family: "segoe ui" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"> lessons and driven a few more times with me riding along. She has
made a lot of improvement, and is now only a couple of months from turning 16.
I am still scared to death that she will soon be allowed to drive the streets
on her own. Once she is off and driving, my 14-year-old son will turn 15, six
months later. Yikes! </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMi8v977uni9I-_Z6BCN7HYSlCrqzjk7XczaFnS-_nXzxKwXtimPmH4JKchQbS5APkNn9uhWXUOvCKIotxc8Lp1NHBUgeyHeRqyyTg5jw5VpTxPFgMawAYorK1WdmYB2RlkyINzJkeLU4/s1600/image3.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="481" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMi8v977uni9I-_Z6BCN7HYSlCrqzjk7XczaFnS-_nXzxKwXtimPmH4JKchQbS5APkNn9uhWXUOvCKIotxc8Lp1NHBUgeyHeRqyyTg5jw5VpTxPFgMawAYorK1WdmYB2RlkyINzJkeLU4/s640/image3.jpeg" width="480" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #212121; font-family: "segoe ui" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"><br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Herb Cody is a husband and father of
three. He is a part time Uber driver and full time caregiver of his
spouse, who suffered a traumatic brain injury after an auto accident November,
2015. Herb loves football and is a St Louis Cardinals fanatic. He and his
family live in Nixa MO. Herb can be reached for questions or comments at <a href="mailto:herbie05@yahoo.com" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">herbie05@yahoo.com</span></a><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #212121; font-family: "segoe ui" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">You can check out Herb's own blog at,<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #212121; font-family: "segoe ui" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"><a href="https://nam05.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thecodylife.weebly.com&data=02%7C01%7Cjennifer%40gooddads.com%7Cd432ad770b5f45e8f8bd08d6d2f6e234%7Cf643528126f244108d81dcddf3b9d6c8%7C0%7C0%7C636928355129657365&sdata=sDxy0j9ZjsYi%2BHdQRrwMzMHhgLA7epEK9t8KkVXutmU%3D&reserved=0" target="_blank" title="Original URL: http://www.thecodylife.weebly.com
Click or tap if you trust this link."><span style="color: blue;">www.thecodylife.weebly.com</span></a><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />GoodDadshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08527992858917748115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5862295063253125533.post-12885980275803464642019-04-24T07:47:00.000-07:002019-04-24T07:47:25.292-07:00Take Heart Dads--A Humorous Look at How the Mother is Always Wrong -- by Dr. Jennifer Baker<br />
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<span style="color: #4c4c4c;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Upsplash Photo by Siniz Kim</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Several years ago our son, who was then focusing on
communication and the arts in his undergraduate degree, arrived home during a
break from instruction and remarked, "You should have made me continue
piano lessons." Apparently it was my fault he was not able to play with
the skill of a virtuoso, or at least well enough to entertain his friends or accompany
others with their vocal renditions.<br />
<br />
I recalled those five, long, brutal years when I faithfully drove him to piano
lessons early weekday mornings before school and then encouraged -- okay, some
may say forced -- him to practice every afternoon or evening. It wasn't
pleasant. He learned to play the piano, but we had a definite battle of the
wills going on a significant amount of the time. Finally, when he reached high
school and took up the trumpet as a band member, I allowed him to stop. He
seemed relieved and I enjoyed a respite from a daily battles of the wills -- at
least in my memory -- so it seemed very curious to me that I should be blamed
four or five years later for allowing him to stop.<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
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<span style="color: #4c4c4c;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Upsplash photo by Zakaria Zayane</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">A similar thing also occurred from time to time with our daughter
-- though she started much younger. For instance, on a road trip when she was
about nine- or ten-years-old we stopped to get gas and visit the
"necessary room."<br />
<br />
I asked, "Do you need to use the restroom?"<br />
<br />
"No," she insisted. "I do not."<br />
<br />
"Are you sure?" I persisted.<br />
<br />
She continued to insist she was fine, so back on the road we went. Thirty
minutes later she suddenly exclaimed, "I've got to go. When can we
stop?"<br />
<br />
"I thought you said you didn't have to go," I argued.<br />
<br />
"You should have made me go," she declared. And apparently, that was
that.<br />
<br />
Once again, apparently, it was my fault. My children were masters at assigning
blame to their mother. Even when their father stepped out of line, at least
from their perspective, it all came back to me.<br />
<br />
"Don't look at me," I'd exclaim in the face of
disappointing-dad-behavior. "This is all your father's doing."<br />
<br />
"You should have made him do it," they'd retort.<br />
<br />
"Really," I thought. "Do I control the universe? In what
stratosphere is it possible for me to control my Main Man?" I just
couldn't understand how I always ended up to be the one at fault . . . until
recently.<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
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<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Not long ago my Main Man (aka the father of our children) suggested I read the book <i>Mistakes Were Made, (but Not by Me)</i>. I'll
have to admit that the book is uncomfortably insightful at times about the
lengths to which we will go to justify our own misbehavior. Apparently it's not
so much a case of lying, in the sense that we don't actually set out to
deceive. It's more that we can't live with the thought of ourselves as the kind
of person who might do some of the things we do or fail to do.<br /><br />
According to Tavris and Aronson, authors of <i>Mistakes Were Made, </i>"Parent
blaming is a popular and convenient form of self-justification because it
allows people to live less uncomfortably with their regrets and imperfections.
Mistakes were made, by them. Never mind that I raised hell about those lessons
or stubbornly refused to take advantage of them. Memory thus minimizes our own
responsibility and exaggerates theirs" (p. 76).<br />
<br />
Apparently, we have to be careful about how much stock we put in our memories
because they can and do delude us. I can see this so very clearly as a
therapist. When people tell me their stories, they are almost always skewed to
a perspective that puts them in the very best light and others . . . well,
let's just say it's much less attractive. I can see it in them. It is much
harder to recognize in myself.<br />
<br />
To be fair, there are some not-so-good and even bad parents, but the majority
did the very best they could for us with the resources they had available at
the time. Part of being a grown-up, I think, is letting our parents be people.
We need to let them off the hook for what they didn't or couldn't provide for
us. We need to recognize their imperfect love for us and take responsibility
for our own contribution to our difficulties then and now. When we do that, I
think it is a lot easier to love them even if they failed us in some important
ways. It's also enables us to be more effective in solving our problems.<br />
<br />
I haven't finished the book yet, but I'm working on it. It seems I may have a
lot more uncomfortable things to learn about myself, but I'm sure I'll be a
better person for it. I wonder if I should recommend <i>Mistakes Were Made</i> to
my children. After all, with offspring of their own, they're certain to
experience a little blaming themselves.<br />
<br />
As for me, for the moment I remain,<br />
<br />
Mistakenly yours.<br />
<br />
Dr. Jennifer Baker</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />GoodDadshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08527992858917748115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5862295063253125533.post-35357539853094022942019-04-17T07:16:00.000-07:002019-04-18T12:52:23.146-07:00Prime Drivers Heidi Kapinos and Anthony Eck: Team Work on the Road and at Home <br />
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Ask any
Prime driver and he or she will tell you there are a number of ways to stay
connect with family while gone from home. We’ve heard about Skype, Facetime,
talking on the phone and special apps that make communication easier in remote
locations. The important thing, they say, is to touch base on a regular basis.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Heide
Kapinos knew she was signing up for a long-distance relationship complete with
many forms of communication when she married her husband, Anthony. What she
didn’t expect was to be sharing a cab with him as a long-haul driver herself.
Although Anthony was positively encouraging about her ability to drive an
18-wheeler, Heidi resisted. However, Anthony was persistent and pointed out the
many financial advantages of driving together, along with being able to avoid
long separations. Eventually, she agreed to give it a try. She admits to some
“tense moments” in training while she was learning to master many of the
parking and backing maneuvers a driver must learn. Nonetheless, she made it
happen and today spends nearly 24/7 together with Anthony in the truck.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Too Much Togetherness?<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Heidi explains it is not like they’re
together all the time. Although they occupy the same physical location, Heidi
says their “together time” is really much less. “When I’m driving; he’s often sleeping
and vice versa. Given this reality and the times we are loading or unloading,
it really is much less.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Anthony and
Heidi Eck have been together for four years. Together they have six children
from their previous marriages. Anthony has three sons and one daughter; Heidi
has one son, Hunter (20) and a daughter, Cheylee (18). Anthony’s oldest sons
Tyler (22) and Colby 20) live with Heidi’s children in the same house. Anthony’s
youngest children Savannah (11) and Carter (7) live with their mother.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Parenting from the Road<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">How do Heidi and Anthony make their
over-the-road marriage and blended family parenting work?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It’s probably not surprising to learn
that Heidi and Anthony use the typical technology (phones and web-based media)
to stay in touch. It might be more surprising to learn they have cameras installed
in their living room so they can observe what’s going on with young adult
children. It’s their way to all be “together” even when they are geographically
far apart.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The couple
has high expectations for their four oldest children. “They pay rent to us if
they’re not in school,” says Heidi. They are expected to have a job, pay their
bills on time, including their cell phone bills.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The couple
models good financial management themselves. They drive 6-8 weeks at a time
before coming home for a week, and are open with their children about
money-related matters. “We remind them about why we are gone. We are working
toward goals from which they all will benefit.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">With the
“littles,” (what the couple affectionately calls Anthony’s younger two
children, “constant communication” is key. Anthony calls every day before
school and makes time for them a priority. Heidi says they often give gift
cards to the “littles” for birthdays or special occasions. These are used when
the younger two join their dad and Heidi on the truck for a few weeks in the
summertime.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">At home or
over the road, Heidi says flexibility is <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">key</i></b>. When a driver comes home it can
be both “difficult” and “lovely.” <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCR1v-cCThsyEZqHYusGWjK1kx1fllLRDZXP9kvb4t8c230A-7dT5oZ-s8k_6HplQ6a-KoVWnMxecZUGpwsuIan-ctQ0oFYY8zPoBzko0UncXRYiiYK8G756ibz6R2bbcqkNQ-ZkygH2E/s1600/Image-16.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1072" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCR1v-cCThsyEZqHYusGWjK1kx1fllLRDZXP9kvb4t8c230A-7dT5oZ-s8k_6HplQ6a-KoVWnMxecZUGpwsuIan-ctQ0oFYY8zPoBzko0UncXRYiiYK8G756ibz6R2bbcqkNQ-ZkygH2E/s640/Image-16.png" width="428" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">“It’s
wonderful to see them, but also difficult to have the routine disrupted,” she
notes.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">She
encourages the at-home partner to remember the couple’s long-term goals and the
importance of team effort. There’s little doubt that whether a couple is driving
together or one partner is supporting the other from home, success is always a
team effort.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />GoodDadshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08527992858917748115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5862295063253125533.post-56997709710548335352019-04-09T09:44:00.001-07:002019-04-09T09:44:03.186-07:00Money Management for Kids -- Springfield Father of Three -- Kevin Weaver<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcx9ijer5g7GYy9ty8LIC2pXjWf-seGXD1bI8xvV0iCxnExQOtG-4eE4uI2CBYU91g1czcyE0IFc1FnIddTJt-as6VbMBFIxtXTolQBAvcNlVGvZEOvxVkTS0a2xHgDYJ0pqFLZ-UdI4w/s1600/Money--Michael+Longmire.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="333" data-original-width="500" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcx9ijer5g7GYy9ty8LIC2pXjWf-seGXD1bI8xvV0iCxnExQOtG-4eE4uI2CBYU91g1czcyE0IFc1FnIddTJt-as6VbMBFIxtXTolQBAvcNlVGvZEOvxVkTS0a2xHgDYJ0pqFLZ-UdI4w/s640/Money--Michael+Longmire.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">Photo by Michael Longmire</span></i></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Money. We
live in a culture in which a vast majority struggle to properly manage money,
so for parents in 21st Century America the very thought of trying to teach
children how to be good managers can be overwhelming. As with all other things
in parenting, modeling seems to be a top strategy for getting the concept of
dealing with money across to our kids. How do we spend? How do we manage? How
do we show our kids what's important to us when it comes to the monetary things
in life? I once heard a wise man say, "If you want to know what is most
important to a person, you need look no further than their spending
habits . . . check book . . . bank account!" That would ring true for most of us
dads, and the amount spent on housing, food, insurance, would most likely indicate
that we greatly care about the well-being of our families. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicTDe46IU0B0VDiC-Nu4ViN2Z4g_4Vux9AdMGfrJ27GK9_NVEDfoxEd3YYtvUPT09Wk4iZkFh7EegFDw-Yti2uIlYpvqK8I5skt00Qx88oOuGJ-1PlRh2c865rKvQpcqruiBhgasOoRqI/s1600/thumbnail_Kev%252C+Keith+%2526+Klay.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="480" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicTDe46IU0B0VDiC-Nu4ViN2Z4g_4Vux9AdMGfrJ27GK9_NVEDfoxEd3YYtvUPT09Wk4iZkFh7EegFDw-Yti2uIlYpvqK8I5skt00Qx88oOuGJ-1PlRh2c865rKvQpcqruiBhgasOoRqI/s640/thumbnail_Kev%252C+Keith+%2526+Klay.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>Modeling</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">But, how do
we practically start teaching our children how to manage money? Especially when
they are very young and have very little to no money of their own? Perhaps it
is truly more about what we value in areas other than those that are
monetary that show our kids how to best manage what they earn or are given. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">First, what
do our children see and hear us do with money?</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> Do we blow it on the frivolous
and then complain about never having enough of it? Or, do they see us spending
wisely, giving warmly, and being thankful with what we have, no matter how
great or small?</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Our attitudes will speak
louder than we can possibly imagine. </span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>Checking Attitudes</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">After checking our attitudes, what about
finding creative ways to show our children just how much things cost? When our
three children were quite small, my wife would let them set up a
"store" in our living room. They could take items from the pantry and
set them around, then take turns playing "shopper" and "cashier."
My wife "priced" items they could "purchase" with
their play money. The "I'm rich" happy faces quickly turned to
ones full of shock, once the little shoppers realized how quickly the play
money could be spent. Just something as simple as this game fosters
children with a more realistic grasp on just how far money goes (or doesn’t!) in the real
world.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmoKK1wST-vHpSj2wbVq7w0Qgv_ry38XKLZWW0bigqyyCUvYQyU1tNTuca68TVrShgNgVmyZRGPdwWDRAD2otWBjvv1Txr7k_NQqvsB-C95_7hNaGNUyRgHt2j5Xsi0rfFYspZvPd6IoE/s1600/thumbnail_IMG_3162.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="1280" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmoKK1wST-vHpSj2wbVq7w0Qgv_ry38XKLZWW0bigqyyCUvYQyU1tNTuca68TVrShgNgVmyZRGPdwWDRAD2otWBjvv1Txr7k_NQqvsB-C95_7hNaGNUyRgHt2j5Xsi0rfFYspZvPd6IoE/s640/thumbnail_IMG_3162.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>Kids, Jobs and Budgeting</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">As children
age, in addition to the birthday and holiday monies they may receive, they also
may acquire jobs in which they earn their very own pay. It is hard for a young
person to fight the urge to spend every cent they have worked for on whatever
they want. After all, they earned it, right? But, once again, this is a
teachable time to step in for pointing out examples and talking our kids
through smart ways to manage. If you have a budget, show it to your adolescent.
Point to the times you have wanted something for yourself, but had to wait to
purchase until you knew bills were paid, and savings were added to. </span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Personally,
my boys heard me say, on many occasions, “We don’t have the money,” regarding
something that would come up. When the boys asked, “Are we okay? Are we out
of money?” I quickly responded, “Look, guys. When I say I can’t buy
something or we can’t do something, it doesn’t mean we have no money at all.
What it means is that Mom and I have not allowed any money in our budget to go
towards that particular thing. If we really want that thing, or trip, or
experience, then we save for it. But, we don’t go crazy and purchase things
without checking our budget, first.” After showing our kids that even their
grown-ups have to stick to a budget, it is easier to help walk them through
making their own. Theirs may be as simple as “Bank 25%; give 25%; spend 50%;”
but it’s still moving them towards clear principles of budgeting. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Each kid is
as unique as each adult. Our three boys were raised by the same parents, in the
same house, with the same standards. However, they all started out with varying
views on handling their finances. We had a “spender,” a “saver,” and a “I’ll
just live off the land” Bear Grylls kind of kid. With time, modeling, and
teaching when the opportunity posed itself, they learned to be more and
more responsible in their own money habits. </span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOqJzQ20gmGkUakjcgv-ExOn40JITpxbxL6L9jxx9LaTGvjtBKsyA0_4cucuyQxTaT4bkGpOPdUJs_-Uz2oPMUAtXfMj9CHQiOM3sT9JzFgL9HMCrPgma2d7FEbKLHjiDpy0SYf8YyaNo/s1600/thumbnail_IMG_3676.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOqJzQ20gmGkUakjcgv-ExOn40JITpxbxL6L9jxx9LaTGvjtBKsyA0_4cucuyQxTaT4bkGpOPdUJs_-Uz2oPMUAtXfMj9CHQiOM3sT9JzFgL9HMCrPgma2d7FEbKLHjiDpy0SYf8YyaNo/s640/thumbnail_IMG_3676.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We all have live and learn stories,
and so will our kids. I encourage you to stay the course in living and
learning with yours, even when the subject matter is tricky and the times are
tough. Maybe our kids will be better managers than any generation before us.
It’s worth the effort. </span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, tahoma, helvetica, freesans, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 17.12px;"><span style="color: #212121; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px; font-style: italic;">Kevin Weaver, CEO of Network211 and father of three sons, lives with his wife KyAnne in Springfield, MO. He enjoys spending time with family, hunting and watching University of Kansas basketball with his boys! He can be reached at </span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px; font-style: italic;">kweaver@network211.com</span></span></div>
<br />GoodDadshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08527992858917748115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5862295063253125533.post-19544666665546960202019-04-01T15:17:00.003-07:002019-04-01T15:17:44.404-07:00The Courage to be Ordinary -- Dr. Jennifer Baker<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0Kz4UsIsd398qWqfKGTT-ERtj2avOIakVqfyerT81SUpdMQgQJsagXATcXLssCDVMMWF5sObvhC-zW2g8pk9Tgx2kIHLJ3rQvMGFJvdbopR_jpAHshDW8hhsFwqChyphenhyphenXhvSvrkDGlfFL8/s1600/Lucas+Lenzi+man.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="501" data-original-width="353" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0Kz4UsIsd398qWqfKGTT-ERtj2avOIakVqfyerT81SUpdMQgQJsagXATcXLssCDVMMWF5sObvhC-zW2g8pk9Tgx2kIHLJ3rQvMGFJvdbopR_jpAHshDW8hhsFwqChyphenhyphenXhvSvrkDGlfFL8/s640/Lucas+Lenzi+man.jpg" width="450" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><b><i><span style="color: #4c4c4c;">Photo by Lucas Lenzi</span></i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><i><span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><i><span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Ordinary </span></i></b><span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">– that’s the title of a book by
Michael Horton about “sustainable faith in a radical, restless world.” Horton
speaks primarily of spiritual matters, but I think what he says applies to so
much of our everyday lives—work, leisure, relationships. After all, who
wants to work at an ordinary job, go on an ordinary vacation, or have an
ordinary relationship?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Today words like “ultimate,” “extreme” and “awesome” are in
vogue. In the workplace or business world we often hear that companies or
organizations are “emergent,” “impactful” and “innovative.” Let’s face it, if
you’re not “cutting edge,” you are nowhere on the power grid. It got me
thinking about how much many of us, me included, may be influenced by this
not-so-subtle message of our culture. According to Horton, “ordinary” is “one
of the loneliest words in our vocabulary today,” and he notes that no one wants
a bumper sticker announcing to the neighborhood, “My child is an ordinary
student at Bubbling Brook Elementary.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Just to be clear, Horton is not talking about settling for
mediocrity or just getting by. Rather, he is suggesting the never ending calls
to greatness, e.g., “Be all that you be” and “Never settle” are exhausting on
multiple levels. In the words of Tish Harrison Warren, many of us have never
learned “how to be an average person living an average life in a beautiful
way.” We are continually pushed and prodded to believe there is something
more we could attain or be, if only we pursued our dreams with more vigor.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Here’s the thing that concerns me . . . and Horton. We can make
heroic efforts to do some great thing in our community or around the globe, but
fail to be a decent human being to our neighbor. We may be innovative and
impactful at work, but fail to demonstrate that same kind of energy on a
day-to-day basis with our families. We make sure our children have awesome,
memorable vacations, but fail to help them consistently demonstrate good
manners or be content with what they have.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Photo by Jana Sabeth Schultz</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Much has been said about “the greatest generation,” also known
as the “silent generation.” What occurs to me now is that their greatness seems
highly correlated with their willingness to be “ordinary,” i.e., to show up,
day after day, doing their work with persistence and dedication. Perfect? No,
but their faithfulness to the everydayness of life over a lifetime created some
extraordinary legacies marked by courage and sacrifice.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlTWfP00u0r6Ess9ma0wgM75nzjj6bAom49A5jw3x61p1toxyHtwNIgXDxKLU6CHsAKQaXElPe998A63_tVFRyBDSgbRC39yZNcHPIWjUqXLWRSC7YG11haNHo88hspOP6gCiF1O-KwZE/s1600/Scott+Umstattd+dirty+dishes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="333" data-original-width="500" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlTWfP00u0r6Ess9ma0wgM75nzjj6bAom49A5jw3x61p1toxyHtwNIgXDxKLU6CHsAKQaXElPe998A63_tVFRyBDSgbRC39yZNcHPIWjUqXLWRSC7YG11haNHo88hspOP6gCiF1O-KwZE/s400/Scott+Umstattd+dirty+dishes.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c4c4c;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Photo by Scott Umstattdt</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">As we begin a new season, I’m wondering if it might be good to
consider more ways to be ordinary, draw less attention to ourselves, resolve to
pay attention to people who don’t really benefit us in any way. Perhaps we
could get to know our neighbors. Maybe we could resolve to be on time—early
even—just so we could make space in our schedule to welcome others. Possibly we
could worry less about what will make us happy and put more energy into how to
make the world a better place for those within our circle of influence every
day – small children, cashiers, service workers, those we supervise or report
to. Small kindnesses, caring words and everyday courtesies don’t seem like much
in the face of world hunger. That’s why it takes courage to pursue them on a
daily basis. As the saying goes, “Everyone wants a revolution. No one wants to do
the dishes.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Becoming more content with being ordinary may be just what is
required for a happy, healthy life, rich in community. </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />GoodDadshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08527992858917748115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5862295063253125533.post-75596808819751486892019-03-28T13:23:00.001-07:002019-03-28T13:23:22.970-07:00It Happened "On Accident" -- Dr. Jennifer Baker<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7pNKzW17zoLeoBAF3Knk2HhBG4Q958f6i29BUJlnOy458lBCF1zsCqDkdDPQCNjeQRyHq91oqWuNImCQ5f45faIwUGm74Bqz14fSyfcJcRzoJ_8AZilp9n5aQdTyLAoOtzn6vGazGNW8/s1600/Jilbert+Ebrahimi+Broken+Glass.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="333" data-original-width="500" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7pNKzW17zoLeoBAF3Knk2HhBG4Q958f6i29BUJlnOy458lBCF1zsCqDkdDPQCNjeQRyHq91oqWuNImCQ5f45faIwUGm74Bqz14fSyfcJcRzoJ_8AZilp9n5aQdTyLAoOtzn6vGazGNW8/s640/Jilbert+Ebrahimi+Broken+Glass.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Jilbert Ebrahimi Broken Glass</i></span></h4>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike></span><br />
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<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Betty
Clendening was a force to be reckoned with and our son was experiencing the
full extent of her indignation. The two of them stood in front of my desk –
Mrs. Clendening with her hands on her hips, Andrew red-faced and sheepish.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">“Tell
your mother what you did,” she demanded.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">“I
didn’t mean to. I did it ‘on accident,’” he stammered. “I was trying to kick
the soccer ball over the school roof and it went through a window.” <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">“On
accident.” There’s a phrase I knew wouldn’t fly with his father.
According to my Main Man, very little really happens “on accident.”
Rather, while you don’t actually want something bad to occur, due to impulsivity,
force of habit, or poor judgment, something you didn’t really intend, does.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I
thought of our son’s long ago incident while preparing for a presentation I was
making on “Living with Purpose.” It occurs to me many of us fail to live a
considerable portion of our lives with intentionality or “on purpose.” Rather,
much of what materializes seems to befall us “on accident.” <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">But
does it really?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">For
instance, many people complain about being “too busy.” It causes me to wonder,
are our schedules slammed from stem to stern because we were thoughtful about
our choices? Or did we, perhaps, fail to say “no” when we should have? Did we
graciously decline without the “maybe-if-you-push-me-hard-enough-I’ll-say-yes”
in our voice? Do we contain our children’s schedules, or allow others to make
us feel guilty when we limit our commitments?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbnUZbI8SvEM8vnlf3HEcNRU6p1gVL0-yRme7OiYDabdh03poZ4Z4sAD0Y7k9kggZDDcb7OHzTxemlL0jPUTQQr5CiQ215KMZeEPRoeKXY0TTiazmLex4w53qXR2YwPsbdxpnUvirFYiw/s1600/Michael+Heuser+person+on+bridge.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="755" data-original-width="501" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbnUZbI8SvEM8vnlf3HEcNRU6p1gVL0-yRme7OiYDabdh03poZ4Z4sAD0Y7k9kggZDDcb7OHzTxemlL0jPUTQQr5CiQ215KMZeEPRoeKXY0TTiazmLex4w53qXR2YwPsbdxpnUvirFYiw/s640/Michael+Heuser+person+on+bridge.jpg" width="422" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c4c4c;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Photo by Michael Heuser</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Richard
Leider, author of <i>The Power of Purpose</i>, identifies three key skills for
those who want to be more intentional about their lives. First, living on
purpose or requires reflection on our current situation or choices. Why am I
doing what I’m doing? Who am I trying to please or make happy? What am I afraid
of? Whose life am I trying to live, mine or someone else’s?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Secondly,
living on purpose requires courage—not the kind of courage needed for
sky-diving or white water rafting. Rather, it necessitates the sort of bravery
associated with being more real, vulnerable and authentic with others. It means
letting others know who you really are.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjrC7zQJsRKeK6eM0ZdEpWVQ_pqxWBn_V51e4iSPEjLrwHRKNRCnh8g99mmD_PMVyxnMvRsuruAMiSLNA_Y_Aj7iKCOAxYVvitr0sl7H9dYWxY4_52TFpGb47sXXvqa2lyRl-6oXPfE8w/s1600/Mikito+Tateisi+toddler+%2526+steps.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="356" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjrC7zQJsRKeK6eM0ZdEpWVQ_pqxWBn_V51e4iSPEjLrwHRKNRCnh8g99mmD_PMVyxnMvRsuruAMiSLNA_Y_Aj7iKCOAxYVvitr0sl7H9dYWxY4_52TFpGb47sXXvqa2lyRl-6oXPfE8w/s640/Mikito+Tateisi+toddler+%2526+steps.jpg" width="640" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Photo by Mikito Tateisi</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Finally,
living on purpose means answering questions like these: Who am I? Why am I
here? What do I need or want to accomplish? When I think about living with
purpose, I’m encouraged by advice from a cancer patient.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You must stop and reassess your
priorities and values. You must be willing to be yourself, not what people want
you to be because you think that is the only way you can get love. You can no
longer be dishonest. You are now at a point where, if you truly want to live,
you have to be who you are.</span></i><span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">If
we are to live this kind of life then we will have to make choices. We will
need to be intentional. We will need to sort and sift through our options. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">What happened to our “on
accident” son? The window cost about $200 to replace—a lot of money for a
12-year-old of limited means. Fortunately, the school had a lawn measured in
acres, something that allowed a young man with few resources to do a lot of
thinking while walking behind a lawn mower. No doubt the experience allowed him
plenty of time to reflect on his actions and plan the future with greater
intentionality. He certainly never tried to kick a soccer ball over the school
roof again. </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />GoodDadshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08527992858917748115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5862295063253125533.post-55500900917379287632019-03-28T09:12:00.001-07:002019-04-16T12:31:57.851-07:00Staying Connected With a Traveling Man -- Dr. Jennifer Baker<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRzPoWAHERlLAeoP0NGwdiBSpSbX8uvk4DGCSjxrMe-XYDQOnlmYZBhhaGHFP3lKfI-6UXpLGKJxAXE2cV6n1Gyugef4AWqGbiH15krHQUZPXqlVItJd8lAXTELzLx4cwjdqFnpKHgpJQ/s1600/guillermo-sanchez-536967-unsplash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1072" data-original-width="1600" height="428" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRzPoWAHERlLAeoP0NGwdiBSpSbX8uvk4DGCSjxrMe-XYDQOnlmYZBhhaGHFP3lKfI-6UXpLGKJxAXE2cV6n1Gyugef4AWqGbiH15krHQUZPXqlVItJd8lAXTELzLx4cwjdqFnpKHgpJQ/s640/guillermo-sanchez-536967-unsplash.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Photo by Guillermo Sanchez on Unsplash</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It’s not easy when a good dad travels for work. He misses
his family and they miss him. Yet, millions of dads travel or work away from
home for extended periods of time. Some must travel as a requirement of their
employment. Many like what they do, they just wish it didn’t require them to be
absent so often. Those who do it successfully often credit the importance of
their “home team,” i.e., their wife, their significant other, or the caregiver
for their children.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Experts tell us that couples who go the distance together
have a number of important characteristics. These include making the couple
relationship a priority, taking the long-term view, making healthy sacrifices
for each other, and preserving time for fun and friendship. After all, you
didn’t really get married to solve problems—though that is part of life. You
got together because you had fun, talked like friends, and enjoyed each other’s
company. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">At Good Dads, we have a special heart for husbands and
fathers who travel and “dad at a distance.” We recently reached out to a number
of women whose husbands drive over-the-road to ask
about how they stay connected as a couple. What follows are words of wisdom
from women who live the life and are happy to share what they’ve learned with
other “home team” women.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The
Importance of Regular Connection</span></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">Staying
connected as a couple can be a challenge, but Melanie Borden says technology made
it easier. Even so, establishing a regular routine is important. She notes that
she and her husband, Paul, “talk every morning by phone, sorting out the day’s
business and touching base to make sure everything is good. We will usually
talk or text a couple of times a day and we Skype with the dogs and grandkids
on the weekends, when he is not home. We weather the ups and downs of marriage
and always end a call with a laugh or something upbeat.”</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Brandy Howe, married for eight years to her driver husband,
reports something similar and stresses the importance of making each other a
priority. She says, “This is the most important to us. We start and end our day
with each other. We talk first thing in the morning and end the day talking. No
matter how crazy my day gets, I always stop and call at certain times
throughout my day just to say ‘Hi’ and ask how his day is going. He’s the first
person I talk to and the last person also. No matter how stressed or busy we
get, we always make each other our top priority.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Some technology may work better than others, especially in
remote locations. Theresa “Alika” Radloff says her and her husband, Alan,
prefer to use the phone app, Duo, to stay connected. She says, “Duo is a phone
app that has a better video/audio as far as video chats go. We talk on that at
least once a day so that we can see each other and somewhat feel like we are
together under the same roof.” Sometimes this approach extends to a three-way
Skype video call between Alan, her and the children who live with their mother
in another state. This way all of them can communicate as a family.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Alika has some health challenges which interfere with
spontaneous conversation, so she texts Alan about times when she will not be
available so that he does not worry if she doesn’t answer the phone.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Be Creative</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Brandi urges couples to “be unique and creative in finding
ways that work” for them. She and her husband enjoy very similar interests, so
while he is away they share links to videos or articles about hunting, archery
and other interests. He listens to podcasts when he is driving, so they have
conversations on the phone about what he has learned about upcoming elk
hunting, archery, and other topics. Sharing interests and staying connected
through those interests plays an important role in their successful marriage.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Solving Problems Together<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">One of the
more difficult aspects of being apart from each other involves handling
problems or potential areas of disagreement together. Some suggest these kinds
of conversations take place in person, face-to-face, but when a driver is gone
for several weeks at a time, this may not always be practical. Couples may also
want to avoid using precious home time for handling potential conflict. For
this reason, Alika recommends email. She says, “When there is something of
importance that needs to be addressed, then we email each other. We do the
email or text thing for two reasons: one, it’s in black and white; and two, if
we need to go back to check on something that was said, neither of us can
forget. Silly, I know, but it works.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The Home Routine<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Finally, Brandi underscores the importance of establishing a
routine for when her husband is home. They typically have one full day a week
together, so having a routine helps them “make the most of every hour. She
says, “I know about what time he will be home each week, so I will be there to
greet him and have made it part of my routine.” She says the couple also makes
a practice of having a once a month date night or date day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Love the Man Who Loves His Work<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It might be
easy for a woman to be angry or resentful when her husband is gone from her so
much of the time. However, we didn’t find a shred of bitterness or self-pity
from these “women of steel.” Perhaps Alika summed it up best. “I have been
asked time and time again why does he leave me home alone while he stays out on
the road all the time. The answer is simple. He has his dream job and I would
never take him from that, at least not unless I am completely handicapped where
I cannot do anything on my own. I know not many people nowadays get that
opportunity. He is one of the lucky few able to achieve his dream before he is
too old to do anything at all. I am proud of him and will stick by him through
this adventure of life. We will always talk and keep in touch with each other
no matter what part of the USA he is at the time.”</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<br />GoodDadshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08527992858917748115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5862295063253125533.post-89514366413303091812019-03-28T08:26:00.001-07:002019-03-28T13:23:51.928-07:00"We Bonded in the Kitchen" -- Springfield Dad, Chad Carleton<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvAiE6_fpTZcuMPMFMW4A05LT1tz8aY2tA6U0yxPypuOo1ZtyvFKBV6qyC36B7pnZvcxqasrwIGwM7Dm3MfBzVzH6yEdk3uk_iNSE6u3ho9uA1iHE-MZKz9XWo1qSZmU2IZr72nInIoX8/s1600/IMG_6025.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvAiE6_fpTZcuMPMFMW4A05LT1tz8aY2tA6U0yxPypuOo1ZtyvFKBV6qyC36B7pnZvcxqasrwIGwM7Dm3MfBzVzH6yEdk3uk_iNSE6u3ho9uA1iHE-MZKz9XWo1qSZmU2IZr72nInIoX8/s640/IMG_6025.jpeg" width="480" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Not every stepfather is so lucky. Chad Carleton admits he’s
a blessed man, but he thinks some of the magic may have begun in the kitchen. “We
bonded,” he said, “when we started cooking together.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Chad got to know Jewel, his step-daughter, when he started
dating Emily, her mother. She was 12 when they married; today’s she almost 16.
Any parent will tell you, the pre-teen and teenage stages are not always easy.
For step-parents they can be particularly difficult. It takes time to get to
know each other, to learn what to expect. The biological parent, who has been
around since birth, usually has an edge. That’s why Chad so values his
relationship with Jewel as they work side-by-side in the kitchen, preparing
meals for the family. He sees it as an opportunity to build their relationship
and enjoy time together. He sees it as “incredibly rewarding” to be a positive,
significant role model in a child’s life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Chad is very candid about the importance of being
intentional about the relationship with a potential stepchild. He insists, “Any
man pursuing a woman with children should recognize the significance of the
children out of the gate. You can’t come and go out of a woman’s life because it
has a dramatic effect on the children.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJCFXEJT1lSCPltIdhKrBW2OHlb5s881vYMewU6sIwvdvRVL9S0Zd4CfsZdgwpf9lzS7sCQ3eT9nvM9Xhq4RUyHberLN9nDREnquv-tvwjsw1AD971-PTWSGyn0_Ziemgkg1n41OSxqM0/s1600/thumbnail_IMG_6255.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJCFXEJT1lSCPltIdhKrBW2OHlb5s881vYMewU6sIwvdvRVL9S0Zd4CfsZdgwpf9lzS7sCQ3eT9nvM9Xhq4RUyHberLN9nDREnquv-tvwjsw1AD971-PTWSGyn0_Ziemgkg1n41OSxqM0/s400/thumbnail_IMG_6255.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Chad explains, “I knew I wanted to be with my wife and I
knew she had a child, so we were very intentional about me building that
relationship. Over time it became less intimidating and it didn’t take long
before I wanted another (child).” That child is their eight-month-old daughter,
Isla, who loves to wheel her walker close to her parents and big sister when
they gather in the kitchen.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Working together is especially important because Chad and
Emily are co-owner of <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Everything Kitchens</i></b>, a primarily
on-line store for almost anything a person might want in his or her kitchen. Chad
credits his wife with the store’s success and praises her ability. Given that
Chad grew up in a family of all boys and admits to having very little
experience with the female perspective, his understanding of how to be
important in the lives of the females in his life if commendable. Though he’s
young, we could all learn a lot from dads like Chad.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<br />GoodDadshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08527992858917748115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5862295063253125533.post-27726455571227584822019-03-28T08:26:00.000-07:002019-03-28T08:26:23.293-07:00Are Truck Drivers Romantic? -- Wisdom for Prime Good Dad Thomas Miller<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE-1SJp66ParP2Loed2Qyo_2GFH92lm5VgMTSBzF1Eo7jAqaLXQNIvGMohb5Qz18Z56j8Ef8VRAHwLLZkWR47n-a22nhR05xB3edQTSAGF1hCHNIoH3EfppTTVp6icCd4ibgKYsO7qq_o/s1600/photo-1535058637346-7c998e67b6b5+romance.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="625" data-original-width="500" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE-1SJp66ParP2Loed2Qyo_2GFH92lm5VgMTSBzF1Eo7jAqaLXQNIvGMohb5Qz18Z56j8Ef8VRAHwLLZkWR47n-a22nhR05xB3edQTSAGF1hCHNIoH3EfppTTVp6icCd4ibgKYsO7qq_o/s640/photo-1535058637346-7c998e67b6b5+romance.jpg" width="512" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: black; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Are truck drivers romantic? That is what we asked
Thomas Miller when we talked with him a few days before Valentine’s Day. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">He assured us, “I am a romantic truck driver,” but
gave much of the credit to his wife, Misty, and their two daughters – Mackenzie
(17) and Kylie (26) for keeping him on the right path.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyL7ofqgT2MTLvyyDcUb-ImUcYgc2PAB7KLcWZX1tyvYLhcOGwdLjlogd0Xv6zLu1BKrksUqaxnbsbkeNOeOUe-0AWjtbzxplzsye061JJJFydEO5_5wd3mfMYONuPRMAx3N5nJr_u8Go/s1600/Thomas+%2526+Wife.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="412" data-original-width="428" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyL7ofqgT2MTLvyyDcUb-ImUcYgc2PAB7KLcWZX1tyvYLhcOGwdLjlogd0Xv6zLu1BKrksUqaxnbsbkeNOeOUe-0AWjtbzxplzsye061JJJFydEO5_5wd3mfMYONuPRMAx3N5nJr_u8Go/s320/Thomas+%2526+Wife.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Thomas must know something about romance because he
has been married more than 25 years to Misty and driving over-the-road at the
same time. He started driving three months after his oldest daughter’s birth 26
years ago. He has been driving for Prime Inc. the last 20 years.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“I have a couple of well-rounded kids,” he says with
pride. “The oldest attended college on an academic scholarship. The second is
still in high school. They’re both good kids.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0vy2geueFJLBhTUg4GQD7vsZGNaLpYSBnQHhOp5vGQIc1ww2QUjMDHtWjcnelRiBxmtP0MGiE9ZKCL6yPupY6jr47m7rmri221pXajWiDEBzQRpgOKAvOAXNm6A6BEdAx1BGPlrbQSIQ/s1600/Thomas+and+family.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="510" data-original-width="538" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0vy2geueFJLBhTUg4GQD7vsZGNaLpYSBnQHhOp5vGQIc1ww2QUjMDHtWjcnelRiBxmtP0MGiE9ZKCL6yPupY6jr47m7rmri221pXajWiDEBzQRpgOKAvOAXNm6A6BEdAx1BGPlrbQSIQ/s320/Thomas+and+family.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“Excited Conversations”</span></h3>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“It
takes an incredibly strong woman to raise two kids, essentially alone,” he
remarked about his wife, Misty. At the same time, Thomas says he believes the
secret to their strong relationship lies with “constant communication.”
Calling, texting, emailing and using FaceTime are all part of their routine. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“What
happens when the two of you disagree?” we wondered, knowing some people avoid
uncomfortable conversations or areas of conflict when they have so little time physically
together. Unfortunately, this strategy of avoidance is not usually healthy for
relationships and can create resentment and erode good feelings over time. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Thomas
assured us he and Misty sometimes do have “excited conversations.” “If things
heat up too much,” he said, “we wait until I can pull the truck over because
she doesn’t want me driving when I’m upset. Likewise, I would not interrupt her
day as a teacher to discuss a disagreement. We don’t put it off for days,
weeks, or months at a time because that’s a disaster.” </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“The
number one thing is that Misty keeps me informed. Sometimes she burns up the
phone with FaceTime. Being apart can be tough on a marriage. It takes a lot of
teamwork.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEial9krUz7RsmYu3l7GrBdytLBAnVOfk0A4eos_Mm0A8mT-nndFtS282FtUD2V58iPpgk7fAOk9N280mzW7BMJqKc4NKNz62Pg3PxSgh5RJWGpQNAQMI7QAtkaypHh-16pImfKYu2226gc/s1600/Miller+girls.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="759" data-original-width="670" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEial9krUz7RsmYu3l7GrBdytLBAnVOfk0A4eos_Mm0A8mT-nndFtS282FtUD2V58iPpgk7fAOk9N280mzW7BMJqKc4NKNz62Pg3PxSgh5RJWGpQNAQMI7QAtkaypHh-16pImfKYu2226gc/s320/Miller+girls.jpg" width="282" /></a></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Words
of Advice to Would-Be Romantic Drivers</span></span></b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0px;"></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">A lot
has changed in the last 25 years to help drivers stay more connected with those
they love. Here are some specific suggestions from Thomas Miller:</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Communicate,
communicate, communicate – use every means you can to stay in touch. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">When you
go home spend as much time as possible with your wife and children. Thomas
emphasizes what his wife wants most is one-on-one alone time with him, e.g.
dinner together and maybe a movie.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Do
not forget your daughters on Valentine’s Day! </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Do
things you enjoy together when you are home. Thomas and Misty enjoy riding
motorcycles and love going for a ride together whenever possible.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Get
to know your partner and what makes her happy. She may not be the hearts,
flowers and chocolate kind of woman. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">When
we signed off Thomas was heading off on an adventure with his 17-year-old daughter. He again emphasized the importance of giving time to people you love. “No amount of money will replace your presence with them.” </span></span></div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span>GoodDadshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08527992858917748115noreply@blogger.com0