7th Grade Advice to Dad

Knowing the deadline is up for this month's Real Good Dads blog post, I decided to let my 7th grade class have a shot at letting fathers know what’s important to them.  For their question of the day I asked them, "What advice would you give dads from the perspective of a 7th grader?"  With only slight editorial adjustment, here it is:

·         Spend time with your kids instead of always doing work.

·         Work on trying to understand what’s happening in your child’s life.

·         When you baby your teenagers, understand that it makes them feel like you are disrespecting them.

·         You want to be fun.

·         Use constructive criticism with your kids.

·         Respect your daughter’s privacy.

·         Give your kids more responsibility

·         Give your kids more freedom.

·         Don’t assume that you know what your kids feel like.

·         Don’t use old people sayings.

·         Your kids don’t like it when you embarrass them.

·         Don’t take your anger out on your kids.

·         Don’t yell at your kids because it just makes them want to rebel against you more.

·         Unless you are a good singer or dancer don’t sing or dance in front of your kids’ friends.

·         Recognize it when your kids actually do well.

·         Understand that sometimes your kids do things that they don’t realize is bad.  Take their intentions into account.

·         Give your kids a chance to explain when they are in trouble.

·         Let your kids have fun. Sometimes logical consequences are better than restrictions.

·         Try not to swear around your kids because that’s a bad influence.

·         Teenagers want to be independent, so take some time to teach them how to do some things      on their own.

·         Treat your kids with the same respect that you would treat your friends.

·         Give your kids some alone time when it seems like they need it.

·         Don’t buy clothes for your kids without them approving.

·         Respect your children’s property, let them have some personal space.  (They need a bubble).

·         Trust your children.

·         Check their text messages.

·         Make sure you have a Carbon Monoxide tester in your house.

·         Have your kids’ eyes checked regularly.

·         Tell your kids stories about when you were a child.

·         Listen to your kids and not always just to your wife.

Darren Sombke is the father of four living in northern Illinois. He and his wife have one seventh grader remaining at home. He can be reached for comment or question at darrensombke@yahoo.com.