When my boys were young they played
ice hockey. I did not play hockey in my
youth so it was fun for us to learn together.
I discovered a father – son hockey
camp in Minnesota called Peak Performance Hockey Camp. The camp provided a great opportunity for
fathers and sons to learn hockey and be together. I cannot tell you how much fun we had – and
how hard it was to say “good bye” at the end of the summer.
One year at hockey camp one of the
dads was more over the top than the rest of us.
We were all a bit nuts but this dad was in a league by himself. He was yelling at his son, telling him to try
hard, and to do better.
Note to Good Dads: This is not
good.
Without saying a word we all knew
someone had to say something. The point
of these moments is not to tell someone how bad they are being. The point of these
moments is that we all benefit from each other.
I do. You do. Good Dads need Good Dads.
I put my hand on the man’s shoulder
and said, “You sure have a great boy. He
is one of the best out there.” He looked at me and said, “Thanks; he really
is a good boy.” And this man really was
a good dad.
Later that day we went to the water
park. The kids swam and played while the
dads sat together. We told stories. We
laughed. We listened to each other.
The man who had been yelling at his
son shared how he was recently divorced.
He hated it. He saw his son every
two weeks and two weeks in the summer. He
admitted how anxious he gets and how hard it is when his son has to leave.
It is hard for all of us to say “good
bye” to summer and special moments. I could not image how much harder it was
for this man. The man apologized for the
way he had been acting. He shared how
much pressure he felt to make the most of every moment and how it felt like he
was losing his son.
Summer marks the passage of time for
all of us. Dads and children can feel
like they won’t have this moment again. Good
Dads will make the most of each moment -- and begin planning the next moment
together:
1. Relax and enjoy special times just as
they are. Never try to do more or make
more of a moment than what it is.
2. Ask your children what they most
enjoyed. Listen. Make a date of it. A souvenir, a scrapbook, or a photo can make
a summertime memory last forever.
3. Plan for a similar time for the
winter – a Thanksgiving trip, a Christmas vacation, or some other time
together!
Jeff Sippy, a Dad-In-Training, is the father of three young men and the husband of Cindy. He enjoys sailing every chance that he gets. He is the senior pastor at Redeemer Lutheran in Springfield, MO and can be reached for question or comment at jsippy@rlcmail.org