On the highway of life, there are so many wonderful
adventures with our kids. That is, on the metaphorical
highway of life. On the literal
highway, especially when our kids start sitting behind the wheel of the vehicle
we all are riding in—well, let’s just say the word “adventure” takes on a whole
new meaning.
It’s rare to meet a child who isn’t eager to start
driving. In addition to the excitement of becoming a driver—being the one in
sole control of a three-thousand-pound automobile—our young often dream of soon
having their very own car, truck, or even motorcycle. While it’s something we
adults uneventfully, almost robotically do on a daily basis, it is not
something in which we tend to be ready to watch our offspring participate, especially
the first time around.
I imagine there are countless articles on how to keep
calm while teaching your kid to drive. Of course, there are driver’s education
courses and schools, but the real practice seems to come at the expense of the
parental finances. There also can be quite a cost in the gray hair department!
One of our sons learned to drive in Seattle and took a
class at an overpriced driving school. The middle boy took a class at a
moderately priced driving school in a mid-sized city on the opposite coast from
where his older brother earned his license. The youngest took an old-fashioned,
public school-sponsored, coach-taught, free-to-the-parent summer offering in a
rural Kansas community. Regardless where they cut their driving chops, my wife
and I were unequivocally the practice driving guinea pigs. We learned right
along with them, maybe not the same concepts, but we learned.
Unfortunately, the celebration at the DMV upon passing
that final test was only the beginning: we had a new driver in the family, but
we didn’t necessarily have a new car for the new driver to drive. Check that.
We absolutely didn’t have a new, or an old car, for the new driver to drive.
What do parents do with this dilemma? Of course, it
will vary from family to family, not only due to financial situations, but also
to family beliefs and priorities. My wife and I decided that if we were having
the boys help with family driving duties, such as dropping a sibling at a
sports’ practice, or running to the store for milk, we provided the vehicle.
Beyond that, if the child was keeping up at school, with chores, and certainly
with wise choices, he could occasionally borrow one of our vehicles for
something he wanted to do. Said vehicle would have to be returned on time,
clean, and filled with fuel. If that didn’t suffice, the child was free to work
to earn money to purchase, provide gas, maintenance, tags, taxes, and insurance
for his own.
As with anything in the world of parenting, judgment
from others abounds. We had friends who thought we were winning at the
parenting game and others who thought we were harsh taskmasters. In the end,
now that all boys are grown with families of their own, I thankfully can say they
consistently thank us for allowing them to discover the pride of hard work,
responsibility, and ownership from a young age. They also feel it made for true
“adulting.” This is especially so now they
are becoming parents themselves, a transition not seemingly as difficult as
many of their peers claim to experience.
Again, every family is different. Every family has
varying circumstances. Every family has to find its own rhythm. In your search
for the right familial beat, don’t rule out the opportunities to empower your
children in discovering how good it can feel to not only be a responsible
driver, but to simply be . . . responsible.
Kevin Weaver, CEO of Network211 and father of three sons, lives with his wife KyAnne in Springfield, MO. He enjoys spending time with family, hunting and watching University of Kansas basketball with his boys! He can be reached at kweaver@network211.com
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