At the first of the year, my mind is often brought back to
the many “firsts” I have been blessed to witness my children experience. There
are those “firsts” with which most dads are familiar – the first steps, first
words, first days of school, first bike ride without training wheels, first
driving lesson, and first date. Most of the aforementioned are joyous firsts,
but of course we experience some hard firsts with our kids as well. First
illness, first bumped head, first scraped knee, first fender bender, and first
heartbreak. Other “firsts,” such as the first fall the eldest child is off at
college, are a little bit of both – bittersweet in many ways. And as much as I
like to think “firsts” are just for kids, I know they indeed are not. Life is
full of what we adults call “changes,” but in truth, they are simply an endless
stream of “firsts.”
Because of the nature of my job, a very real “first” my wife
and I had to help our sons navigate came by way of moving. We had to work at
giving our boys the opportunity to both experience all of the wonderful
benefits of living in various cities, small towns, and even one other country,
while maintaining a consistent sense of “home.” Many adults struggle with the
change that moving brings, but to a child, it can be downright scary. While the
majority of you reading this may not see yourself ever having to move your
family from where you currently reside, some of the principles applied to
making a move to a new place as smooth as possible can apply to so many other “firsts.”
Especially “firsts” such as going from middle school to high school, leaving
for college, or first days on a job. So, with that in mind, here are a few
things I’ve learned along the “firsts” trail of life…
·
Remind
yourself and your children – often – that getting used to something new takes
time.
Before
any move, we would tell our kids, “A year from now, you are going to love this
place! You’ll see!” Okay, I know a year sounds like forever to our kids, but too
many parents say unrealistic things such as, “You are going to have great
friends on the very first day!” Um, more than likely, you won’t. But, when a
kid is thinking 12 months, and 12 days later they make one, really good friend?
Golden. Again, this also can apply to something such as a student simply moving
from one grade level to the next. If we
focus on this reality, we can find joy in the journey – guaranteed!
· Build
knowledge and excitement for the adventure ahead!
Study,
explore and discuss various aspects of the upcoming “first.” Nervous about the
first day of school? Call the school and see if you can take your child on a
private tour of the building to get acclimated without feeling overwhelmed.
Rent a fun James Patterson movie based on one of his middle school novels.
Share your own experiences – both good and embarrassing, as your child will
love hearing them. If you’re moving, get online, search the local parks,
history, festivals, and events. If you’re moving before the school year begins,
see if there are some summer programs you can get your kids in that will help
them get to know other kids so that “first day” later on is easier to look
forward to than dread.
·
Stay Gold
. . . and Silver
My
wife drove us nuts singing it, but there’s some solid truth to the old Girl
Scout song, “Make new friends, but keep the old . . . one is silver and the
other’s gold.” She was forever telling our boys that with each new experience
was the opportunity to gather more friends. At the same time, we worked hard to
make it as easy as possible for the boys to maintain the cherished friendships
they already had . . . and don’t underestimate the Gold and Silver of your own
family. With each new adventure, we were
poised with the opportunity draw closer to each other like never before. As a dad, that’s what I treasured most!
Whatever “firsts” you are facing as a family, more than any
other tried and true advice I can offer is simply the reminder that when facing
the “firsts” together, remember that they can be the firsts of many great things
to come.
Kevin Weaver, CEO of Network211 and father of three sons, lives with his wife KyAnne in Springfield, MO. He enjoys spending time with family, hunting and watching University of Kansas basketball with his boys! He can be reached at kweaver@network211.com
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