“I’m tired.
Let’s go back to the hotel.”
“I’m
thirsty. Can’t we have something to drink?”
“My feet
hurt. Let’s find a place to sit down.”
We were
experiencing what many view as the ultimate vacation, but everyone was
miserable. How could we be in the midst of one of America’s most frequented
family vacation spots and have everyone so unhappy? Had other families had
dismal Disney World experiences, or were we the only ones?
The subject
of family vacations stirs up mixed emotions in people. It is one thing to look
forward to time away from work and routine responsibilities. It is quite
another to negotiate and tolerate the tension that constant togetherness often
inspires. Given the energy expenditure involved, as well as the financial
commitment required, some might even wonder whether vacations are worth the
effort. What makes a vacation worthwhile, anyway? Consider the following
factors.
Perhaps the
first thing to remember is that all family vacations do not require hours
together in an automobile. Some of the best “vacations” may occur in the
backyard or close to home. They allow uninterrupted family time apart from
regular routine. When children are young, these briefer, less-expensive outings
often provide the most enjoyable memories.
One family
made a habit of taking picnic lunches to the park in a neighboring community.
Their preschool children enjoyed the novelty of eating outdoors, as well as the
adventure of using unfamiliar playground equipment. The parents enjoyed a
relaxed meal without worries about spilled milk and food on the floor.
As children
grow, and finances allow, longer vacations may be possible and more enjoyable.
These need to be planned carefully and take into account the energy levels and
interests of the whole family. Whatever you decide to do, remember that
stress-relief is important for both children and parents. Consider the
following guidelines when planning enjoyable time together with people you
love, including children:
-- Remind
yourself and your child to slow down
· -- Plan
“media free times” to play games, read and talk with each other.
· -- Create
“quiet times” for yourself and other family members.
· -- Plan
some activities that involve the whole family and focus on process, not goals.
Some of my
favorite memories involve lying on my back, looking up at the stars and talking
to my brother and sister. It didn’t cost anything, but the memories are
priceless. Make sure you create some time for these kind of experiences to occur, as well, for your children and yourself.
Dr. Jennifer Baker is the founder and Director of Good Dads. She is the wife of one, mother of two, grandmother of eight, and a licensed clinical psychologist at Lutheran Family & Children Services. She can be reached for comment at jennifer@gooddads.com
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