Photo by Michael Longmire
Money. We
live in a culture in which a vast majority struggle to properly manage money,
so for parents in 21st Century America the very thought of trying to teach
children how to be good managers can be overwhelming. As with all other things
in parenting, modeling seems to be a top strategy for getting the concept of
dealing with money across to our kids. How do we spend? How do we manage? How
do we show our kids what's important to us when it comes to the monetary things
in life? I once heard a wise man say, "If you want to know what is most
important to a person, you need look no further than their spending
habits . . . check book . . . bank account!" That would ring true for most of us
dads, and the amount spent on housing, food, insurance, would most likely indicate
that we greatly care about the well-being of our families.
Modeling
But, how do
we practically start teaching our children how to manage money? Especially when
they are very young and have very little to no money of their own? Perhaps it
is truly more about what we value in areas other than those that are
monetary that show our kids how to best manage what they earn or are given.
First, what
do our children see and hear us do with money? Do we blow it on the frivolous
and then complain about never having enough of it? Or, do they see us spending
wisely, giving warmly, and being thankful with what we have, no matter how
great or small? Our attitudes will speak
louder than we can possibly imagine.
Checking Attitudes
After checking our attitudes, what about
finding creative ways to show our children just how much things cost? When our
three children were quite small, my wife would let them set up a
"store" in our living room. They could take items from the pantry and
set them around, then take turns playing "shopper" and "cashier."
My wife "priced" items they could "purchase" with
their play money. The "I'm rich" happy faces quickly turned to
ones full of shock, once the little shoppers realized how quickly the play
money could be spent. Just something as simple as this game fosters
children with a more realistic grasp on just how far money goes (or doesn’t!) in the real
world.
Kids, Jobs and Budgeting
As children
age, in addition to the birthday and holiday monies they may receive, they also
may acquire jobs in which they earn their very own pay. It is hard for a young
person to fight the urge to spend every cent they have worked for on whatever
they want. After all, they earned it, right? But, once again, this is a
teachable time to step in for pointing out examples and talking our kids
through smart ways to manage. If you have a budget, show it to your adolescent.
Point to the times you have wanted something for yourself, but had to wait to
purchase until you knew bills were paid, and savings were added to.
Personally,
my boys heard me say, on many occasions, “We don’t have the money,” regarding
something that would come up. When the boys asked, “Are we okay? Are we out
of money?” I quickly responded, “Look, guys. When I say I can’t buy
something or we can’t do something, it doesn’t mean we have no money at all.
What it means is that Mom and I have not allowed any money in our budget to go
towards that particular thing. If we really want that thing, or trip, or
experience, then we save for it. But, we don’t go crazy and purchase things
without checking our budget, first.” After showing our kids that even their
grown-ups have to stick to a budget, it is easier to help walk them through
making their own. Theirs may be as simple as “Bank 25%; give 25%; spend 50%;”
but it’s still moving them towards clear principles of budgeting.
Each kid is
as unique as each adult. Our three boys were raised by the same parents, in the
same house, with the same standards. However, they all started out with varying
views on handling their finances. We had a “spender,” a “saver,” and a “I’ll
just live off the land” Bear Grylls kind of kid. With time, modeling, and
teaching when the opportunity posed itself, they learned to be more and
more responsible in their own money habits.
We all have live and learn stories,
and so will our kids. I encourage you to stay the course in living and
learning with yours, even when the subject matter is tricky and the times are
tough. Maybe our kids will be better managers than any generation before us.
It’s worth the effort.
Kevin Weaver, CEO of Network211 and father of three sons, lives with his wife KyAnne in Springfield, MO. He enjoys spending time with family, hunting and watching University of Kansas basketball with his boys! He can be reached at kweaver@network211.com
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