Ask any
Prime driver and he or she will tell you there are a number of ways to stay
connect with family while gone from home. We’ve heard about Skype, Facetime,
talking on the phone and special apps that make communication easier in remote
locations. The important thing, they say, is to touch base on a regular basis.
Heide
Kapinos knew she was signing up for a long-distance relationship complete with
many forms of communication when she married her husband, Anthony. What she
didn’t expect was to be sharing a cab with him as a long-haul driver herself.
Although Anthony was positively encouraging about her ability to drive an
18-wheeler, Heidi resisted. However, Anthony was persistent and pointed out the
many financial advantages of driving together, along with being able to avoid
long separations. Eventually, she agreed to give it a try. She admits to some
“tense moments” in training while she was learning to master many of the
parking and backing maneuvers a driver must learn. Nonetheless, she made it
happen and today spends nearly 24/7 together with Anthony in the truck.
Too Much Togetherness?
Heidi explains it is not like they’re
together all the time. Although they occupy the same physical location, Heidi
says their “together time” is really much less. “When I’m driving; he’s often sleeping
and vice versa. Given this reality and the times we are loading or unloading,
it really is much less.
Anthony and
Heidi Eck have been together for four years. Together they have six children
from their previous marriages. Anthony has three sons and one daughter; Heidi
has one son, Hunter (20) and a daughter, Cheylee (18). Anthony’s oldest sons
Tyler (22) and Colby 20) live with Heidi’s children in the same house. Anthony’s
youngest children Savannah (11) and Carter (7) live with their mother.
Parenting from the Road
How do Heidi and Anthony make their
over-the-road marriage and blended family parenting work?
It’s probably not surprising to learn
that Heidi and Anthony use the typical technology (phones and web-based media)
to stay in touch. It might be more surprising to learn they have cameras installed
in their living room so they can observe what’s going on with young adult
children. It’s their way to all be “together” even when they are geographically
far apart.
The couple
has high expectations for their four oldest children. “They pay rent to us if
they’re not in school,” says Heidi. They are expected to have a job, pay their
bills on time, including their cell phone bills.
The couple
models good financial management themselves. They drive 6-8 weeks at a time
before coming home for a week, and are open with their children about
money-related matters. “We remind them about why we are gone. We are working
toward goals from which they all will benefit.
With the
“littles,” (what the couple affectionately calls Anthony’s younger two
children, “constant communication” is key. Anthony calls every day before
school and makes time for them a priority. Heidi says they often give gift
cards to the “littles” for birthdays or special occasions. These are used when
the younger two join their dad and Heidi on the truck for a few weeks in the
summertime.
At home or
over the road, Heidi says flexibility is key. When a driver comes home it can
be both “difficult” and “lovely.”
“It’s
wonderful to see them, but also difficult to have the routine disrupted,” she
notes.
She
encourages the at-home partner to remember the couple’s long-term goals and the
importance of team effort. There’s little doubt that whether a couple is driving
together or one partner is supporting the other from home, success is always a
team effort.
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